Trials and tribulations come upon us all. Some are much more difficult for us to deal with than others, but during all of them we might wonder, where is God? Has God abandoned us? Why doesn’t God seem to be helping us? While it seems as if God has gone away, if we had a better perspective of the situation, we would see that God is letting us exercise our own agency so that hopefully we can grow and become a better person. In some ways, God can be said to be watching over us like a spotter at a gym. God doesn’t want to do what we can and should do ourselves, but, on the other hand, God is still there, hidden from view, giving us grace when we need it, so that we can truly grow and transcend what we think we can otherwise do. This sometimes leads us to do extraordinary, or seemingly impossible things. God wants all of this for us. God wants us to find our own free agency and to realize our potential, but also, to see how that potential itself is not always static, that it can and will develop over time. God does this with us as persons, but also, humanity as a collective whole. If God actively intervened at every level of our decision making process, and at every level of our action, we would not be free; in the end. we would lose a quality which we have, a quality which we share with God, a quality which is good and so worthy to possess: free will. Freedom is a gift, but it is also a responsibility, one which often brings with it consequences, again, on a personal basis, but also on a communal one (often the communal consequences are of a kind which affects us in ways we do not understand or like). And yet, sometimes, when we begin to do something extraordinary, when we begin to transcend ourselves, we find ourselves getting anxious and fearful, and we let that fear get the best of us, drowning us in its intensity, just like Peter did when he began to walk on water:
And in the fourth watch of the night he came to them, walking on the sea. But when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were terrified, saying, “It is a ghost!” And they cried out for fear. But immediately he spoke to them, saying, “Take heart, it is I; have no fear.” And Peter answered him, “Lord, if it is you, bid me come to you on the water.” He said, “Come.” So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus; but when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.” Jesus immediately reached out his hand and caught him, saying to him, “O man of little faith, why did you doubt?” And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. And those in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.” (Matt. 14:25-33 RSV).
Most of us have heard this story many times. Peter, when he was not so self-conscious, when he was not thinking about what he was doing, walked on water, but then, almost immediately, he noticed what he was doing and started to panic, and thanks to the fear he had, he sank back into the water and thought he was going to drown. This is an extraordinary event, not only because he walked on water, but because of how his fear got the best of him; he was a fisherman, so he should have been able to swim, but because of that fear, he was unable to move, and so he started to sink into the water and would have drowned if Jesus did not rescue him.
This story is full of symbols. The water can be seen to represent the troubles found in the world, all the strife and suffering we have to endure during our lives. We, like Peter, often are able to make our way in it, but then, when we notice what we are doing and get in a panic; then, the troubles of the world take us in, and will drown us if we do not get help.
God doesn’t want to impede our free will. Rather, God wants us exercise it, so that, through the challenges we encounter in our lives, we grow as persons, and in that growth, find ourselves capable of doing greater and greater things. As our freedom is itself a gift of God, by its nature, it is filled with grace; the more we receive and partake of that grace, the more we cooperate with it, the more we will find our freedom, our free agency, growing. But, also, because we have been given freedom, because we have that grace of God always with us, God is also always there with us, that is, God never abandons us. This is why, if we are careful, if we develop our spiritual senses, we will be able to ascertain, even in all the difficult periods of our life, God was always there. Indeed, it is often in the apparent absence of God where God is working in and with us the most as God is helping us help ourselves instead of merely relying upon God’s direct help for all that troubles us.
What we need to do is have faith that even in the worst situations of our lives, God is there, doing what God thinks is best. God always works to promote our development so that we can achieve our greatest potential. Everything God does is for our own good. We can know all this, and accept it in theory, but that doesn’t make it easier. Growth is often difficult, full of pain and sorrows of its own, and yet, when a growth spurt is over, and we look at what we have become, we see how much better we are because of it. God trust us, at least just enough, to step back and not take total, direct control of our lives. We need, therefore, to trust God. This is not to say we can’t question what is going on from our standpoint, hoping that God will give us an answer, for the book of Job tells us we can. What we need to do is believe there is an answer, even if the answer currently transcends our knowledge and understanding. Thus, we can have faith, and trust in God, and still have questions, indeed, those who are faithful, those who love God, will often have the most questions, as they have the most understanding of what God can and has done through the ages. What we should not do is let those questions get the best of us, for then, they can develop and become a new set of troubled waters for us to overcome, waters which will drown us if we panic and let them have power over us.
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N.B.: While I read comments to moderate them, I rarely respond to them. If I don’t respond to your comment directly, don’t assume I am unthankful for it. I appreciate it. But I want readers to feel free to ask questions, and hopefully, dialogue with each other. I have shared what I wanted to say, though some responses will get a brief reply by me, or, if I find it interesting and something I can engage fully, as the foundation for another post. I have had many posts inspired or improved upon thanks to my readers.
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