9/11: #NeverForget…..Never Forgive?

(Credit: Jason Powell, Flickr Creative Commons)

I can still remember the moment I first felt “old.”

I wasn’t actually old then, of course.

And I’m not really old now. I’m only 32.

But that Wednesday night a few years ago as I stood before my youth group and talked to them about 9/11 only to be met by blank stares, I felt old.

For them, September 11, 2001 wasn’t much more than a vague memory of an unusually chaotic day at preschool. They weren’t dismissive of the tragic events of that day. It just didn’t really impact them in any significant way because they were 1,000 miles away at the time and far too young to comprehend what was happening that terrible day 14 years ago.

For me, September 11, 2001 is a day that will forever be etched in my memory. From being jarred out of sleep by a roommate to see the news to watching buildings filled with people come crashing down before my eyes to a stoic professor breaking down in tears in class to the errie silence that filled the skies, it’s a day that I, like most Americans, will never forget.

Never forget.

That’s become the refrain every time the calendar turns once again to the 11th day of September.

It’s the hashtag that will dominant Twitter today.

The trend that will fill up our Facebook newsfeeds as friends and strangers share the story of where they were that day.

Remembering who we are, where we’ve been, and what we’ve been through is a good and healthy, even holy thing to do in so far as doing so has the ability to bring us together in a moment of healing for the past and hope for the future.

The lives that were snuffed out by hate that day should be remembered.

The lives that were sacrificed by to save other from collapsing towers should be remembered.

The heroism of that day and the outpouring of love and grace that followed should be remembered.

But as I scroll through Twitter and Facebook and read through the obligatory 9/11 articles across the Internet, I can’t help but wonder if the call to #NeverForget is more than just a call to remember the tragedy and sacrifice that shaped so many of our lives.

I worry that too often the call to #NeverForget is also a call to never forgive, a rallying cry to renew our bitterness and our collective hate for the Muslim world.

Certainly, that isn’t the intention of everyone uttering the words “never forget” today, but after spending the morning following that hashtag on Twitter and scrolling through my newsfeed of Facebook, it seems that while for many the call to #NeverForget is a noble call to sacred remembrance, for many more it’s a rallying cry to renew animosity towards our enemies, Muslims in particular.

Again, I don’t think everyone who evokes the call to #NeverForget today is hostile towards their Muslim neighbors.

But as a Christian, particularly as one who can’t keep back either the tears or the anger whenever I watch old footage from 9/11, I feel conflicted today because as much as I still want to bomb the bastards back to the Stone Age, I can’t escape the call of Jesus to “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” Or the call to “Forgive men when they sin against you” and “not just seven times, but seventy-seven times.”

But I have to be honest.

I don’t know how to forgive Osama bin Laden or Mohamed Atta or Al Qaeda or even their offspring – ISIS.

I don’t even know if it’s really even my place to forgive. After all, I was 1,000 miles away when the planes flew into the Twin Towers and only a little closer when the Pentagon was hit and the final plane crashed into a field in Shanksville, Pennsylvania. I wasn’t directly affected by the terrorist attacks 14 years ago. At least, not in the sense that I was physically injured or lost friends and family members.

So maybe it’s not my place to forgive Osama bin Laden or Mohamed Atta or anyone else involved.

Maybe that’s for those who lost loved ones to do, but I had a lot of hate in my heart back then and if I’m being completely honestly, some of that hate still lingers. All these years later, part of me is still bitter, still angry, still vengeful. I never want to forget either the lives that were lost or the lives that were sacrificed so that some would live.

But I don’t want to hold on to my hate forever.

I don’t want that hate to turn me into a bitter person who sees all Muslims as potential terrorists – as my enemies – just because a handful of hateful Muslims did something unspeakable 14 years ago.

To whatever extent it’s my place to do so, I want to find some way to forgive my enemies.

I want to learn how to respond to their hate, even their violent attacks with love.

I want to be the Christ-like person I claim to be who even on days like today so I can say with integrity that I truly do love my enemies and pray for those who persecute me  – even when they cross an ocean to try and take my life.

Honestly, I don’t know if I’m there yet. I think I’m closer to being there than I was this time last year and I hope this time next year, I’ll be closer still to becoming the person of love, grace, and forgiveness Christ calls me, calls all of us to be.

Which is why today, while I join the chorus of voices singing #NeverForget, I hope I can also #LearnToForgive.