Invitation To The Blues

Above you’ll find Tom Waits from 1977. No accounting for taste, as they say, but I love it.

Below you’ll find a piece of my writing practice that doesn’t seem to fit well with the manuscript I’m working on – I’ve wiggled this way and that. Some of these passages will be familiar to the regular reader. I often first explore a line of inquiry here and then cut/paste/edit into the manuscript. This is a self admonition.

She said “How you gonna like ’em, over medium or scrambled?” You say “Anyway’s the only way,” be careful not to gamble On a guy with a suitcase and a ticket getting out of here It’s a tired bus station and an old pair of shoes
This ain’t nothing but an invitation to the blues

Why is Zen practice an any-way’s-the-only-way invitation to the blues?

Because when we truly seek for the truth of this one great life, replete with a guy (or woman), a suitcase, a ticket, a tired bus station, and an old pair of shoes, we first see how far we are from it.

And when we receive the alienation and tragedy of our life and impending death as the truth itself, we are ready to begin again. Or in Dogen’s words:

When a person first seeks after the dharma, the person becomes far from the boundary of the dharma. When the dharma is correctly transmitted to the self, the person is immediately the original person.

“Seeking?” you might ask. Isn’t Zen about no-gaining idea and not seeking? Everybody’s looking for something. After all, seeking for nothing is also seeking for something. Turning toward and turning away both wrong but if we don’t exhaust them, we won’t have the chance to discover the middle way ourselves.

Above we have old man Dogen straightforwardly recognizing seeking and the estrangement that comes from it. If you’ve got to seek, why not seek for the dharma, for what’s really true. In so doing, you at first become alienated and isolated – these are normal parts of the path.

Soto Zen master Bokusan (1821-1910), one of the most important teachers of the modern period, put it like this:

We should be aware of the tendency for beginners to say, “It’s not good to seek for dharma, so I will not pursue it.” Don’t make this mistake…. It is not possible to perfectly fit with dharma at the beginning of our practice. Not seeking for the dharma is out of the question. You must endeavor with urgency, even sacrificing filial piety for your own mother. By doing so, you come to understand that nonattainment is the true face of the dharma.

We come to dharma practice when we recognize our estrangement from ourselves and the ten thousand things – then we get more of the same. To really practice enlightenment, sacrifices will be required – physical, emotional, relational, vocational, economical, procreational.

Zen that clings to the upper middle way is bullshit. And yet even if you fully give yourself to the way, there is no guarantee. You may not fully realize the way in this life. There may not be a chicken in every pot.

If you want to have a doctorate, ten kids, three wives and/or husbands, a 60-hour work week and build a 5,000 square foot dream house by yourself, you will likely not be able to devote yourself to Zen study in the manner necessary. It is unlikely that anyone will be able to have it all and fully realize the wondrous, true, subtle dharma.

What to do? Sit down and shut up. Stop the whimpering and whining about the self that you yourself impose. With uncommon bravery and single-pointed devotion, break through the barriers of self-limitation.

Generously cultivate a tolerance for the inconceivable by giving it all away. Turn the dharma wheel by wholeheartedly engaging the practice you are given and know that the dharma wheel will turn you when it is good and ready to turn you but it won’t be by your timetable, buddy.

What should you bring for the journey? Most important is a willingness to be cornered where you cannot move an inch, be it a tired bus station, a sterile cubicle at work, a relationship that just isn’t working, and sitting facing a wall.

This is an invitation to the terminal bus station that is simultaneously the start of the journey.

Invitation to the Blues