Sometime in the very near future, half our country’s going to feel disappointment. You may fall in that camp, or maybe me. Because my husband and I are on opposite sides of the political spectrum, someone in our marriage is going to be disappointed. How can we deal with our disappointment in a way that helps our kids (and ourselves) learn resilience? Some weeks ago, 2 out of 3 kids faced major disappointments. Weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth ensued. ... Read more
Back when Kai-Kai was born, my pediatrician told me I needed to have “special time” with 2 year old Ling-Ling—time set aside just for her even if it was only 10 minutes a day. “Then when you can’t give her attention, you can remind her that you will have special time later in the day.” Well I didn’t do it. And it wasn’t like Ling wanted any time with me—she coped with a new sibling by ignoring me for an... Read more
Tonight Kai came home with a homework assignment and said I had to help. “I’ve been through 9thgrade, I don’t do my kids homework,” said I, the loving, supportive, full of energy Mom of the year. “Mom! You need to help me—it’s an assignment.” “Where?” Suspicious. “Let me see the assignment.” “Mom! I’m so hurt! You don’t believe me?? Nobody else’s parents don’t believe them! This is supposed to be a learning experience between us.” She showed me the assignment. ... Read more
Before they married, Mama told Baba she wanted to raise her children as Christians. He agreed, neglecting to tell her until after their wedding that he was actually an apostate. Throughout my childhood, Baba’s apostasy brought out the energy in him. “I,” he would proclaim, pointer finger in the air, chuckling with glee, deep dimples carving grooves into his round cheeks, “am an APOSTATE! Ha ha!” I never understood why he thought this was so funny, or what an apostate... Read more
The Spirituality Channel here at Patheos invited bloggers from across the site to share “stepping stones” from their spiritual journeys. I wrote something about how I experienced God in the years after Scott and Sarah died. For someone who regularly blogs, I was surprised by how exposed the whole thing made me feel. As someone who tries to be a faithful witness, I gave it a go in spite of my discomfort. Scott, my husband of five years, died while... Read more
The king’s heart is like channels of water in the hand of the LORD; He turns it wherever He wishes. Proverbs 21:1 In my own small world I am in survival mode. Struggling to keep the souls in my home fed, loved, clothed. Juggling the two-yr-old’s numerous therapy sessions. Striving to teach young children to learn, to question, to read, to not pick their noses in public, to write, to reason, to love, to get dirty clothes in the hamper.... Read more
I was a virgin when I got married at the ripe old age (back then) of 28. I’ve kissed fewer men than the fingers on one hand. I didn’t have a “serious” boyfriend until graduate school. And for all those sexless, boyfriend-less, not being the sought-after-object-of-mens’ desires years, I felt pitiable, like a loser. Even though Jesus was my boyfriend and I staunchly wanted to be a woman whose self-esteem didn’t rest on how men regarded me, it was hard.... Read more
“You’re going to love this!!” Scott crowed when he got home, “This is going to change your life!” And he gave me. . . a pedometer. A very expensive pedometer that we never in a million years would have bought for ourselves, but took when his workplace offered it for free. But the Fitbit is not just a pedometer, it’s also an altimeter which logs how many flights of stairs I walk, a calorie counter that shows how many calories... Read more
Last week I did one of the most irresponsible things I’ve ever done as a parent. I flew to Paris for a week—purely for fun—and left 3 children in their first full week of school without a parent at home. My sister surprised me just a few weeks ago by inviting me to go to Paris—she had a business trip with free hotel, her husband had frequent flier miles, and she wanted to give me a 40th birthday present (7... Read more
Join me in a collective sigh as we remember the irony of college graduation. For me, the irony: years of self-absorbed study, lectures, writing, scheduling, traveling, and planning culminated in some sort of misguided confidence. Truly, I had never felt more intelligent at a time I was actually so ignorant and so ill-prepared. Ignorant about living, serving, loving, giving, surviving. Four years in the academia bubble will leave a gal quite immature. If anyone can look that immaturity right in... Read more
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