The Unique Beauty of Motherhood

My brother got married before I did. A couple years into his marriage, he told me this: “when considering a wife, the most important question you can ask yourself is…how would this woman be as a mother?”

It hit me as a pretty interesting idea. My brother’s advice was basically to move past the less important ideas that cloud your head – like how she’ll look in lingerie or how often she’ll make me laugh. Think about this person as a mother. Can you imagine, and do you want to commit to, raising children with this person beside you?

Now, this is super cheesy, but it reminds me of an old Bryan Adams song from the 90’s called Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman? This is embarrassing to admit, but I often thought through the lyrics of that song during my formative years, trying to figure out what love is all about. The climax of the lyrics say, “when you can see your unborn children in her eyes…” Sometimes, today, I look at Kylie and think of those lyrics. Cheesy; I warned you.

Nothing Like A Mother

In the early years of our marriage, I felt myself anxious to see Kylie as a mother just as much as I wanted to be a father. And it was a compulsion I didn’t see coming.

We’ve been trying to conceive for more than three years. So I have had plenty of time to imagine Kylie as a mother. I’ve seen her with our nieces, nephews, and the kids of our friends. And even before it happens, I can see that she is a mother.

And it is unlike anything I have ever seen in her before. I’m waiting with eager anticipation for the full manifestation of her motherhood, but there have been hints of it already.

At this point in our story, I see the inclination in Kylie for children, our specific children, and it is uniquely beautiful. It is hard to describe. But I am learning to see it and appreciate it for how unique it is.

We might oversimplify this by noting that the baby is physically connected to the mother or that there is something in the feminine nature. And that is surely a part of it, a significant part.

But there is something else that this only hints at; some magic that is beyond words. The way mothers care, the way they empathize, the way they connect.

There is nothing like it. It is bizarre. And beautiful. And worth trying to talk about, even as we acknowledge there is something enigmatic, something ineffable about the whole thing.

Motherhood is necessary for survival; not only for humans but for many species of animals in God’s created world. It is a representation of the best humanity can be… and often is. It is a show of love, a practical, emotional, and mysterious model for the best ways we interact with one another.