Sex, Masturbation, And Purity Culture: My Conversation With Linda Kay Klein

I recently had the opportunity to sit down and chat with purity culture expert Linda Kay Klein about her bestselling book “Pure”. Pure is important for several reasons, perhaps the most important one is that it helps to chronicle the various types of abuse that women experienced growing up in purity culture. However, as Linda points out in our interview purity culture continues to thrive in the Church. What Linda’s book does is help provide a warning for women in this environment. It helps to show people what they should look out for in their church. Pure also helps women to know that they are not alone through the sharing of various stories that Klein has curated for her book. Pure also provides the reader with signs that they might be in a dangerous situation.

However, I caution you. This book can reintroduce trauma for those who have experienced sexual assault. This is no easy read – especially for men. This book is written from a very candid female perspective that does not hold back on the various experiences that women go through in life. From bleeding anuses to masturbation, this book does not spare the reader any of the profoundly personal details of a woman’s life.

If you can make it through the bleeding anuses, then it is well worth the read. Klein is a great writer and storyteller. She intertwines her own brand of humor that does not take away from the tragic story being told but enhances it. Throughout the book, Klein gives the reader insight into her thoughts during the interviews she is conducting. She provides just enough context that it makes the reader feel like they can relate to the struggle of the women.

Most of the time purity culture focuses on the tragedy and trauma that women face. And no doubt, women are the main characters in this narrative. However, in our interview, we also explore the effect purity culture has had on boys and men, which has created toxic masculinity. We explore areas of sexuality not commonly talked about in the church, such as masturbation and the ways in which it can be done in a healthy way.

Pure also explores the lies that are oftentimes perpetuated in purity culture. Lies like if you wait until marriage the sex is so much better than if you hand over your vagina to just anyone. But what is most troubling about these sorts of conversations is that they are all one-sided. The bulk of the pressure is on women to remain pure. If women are sexually active then they are considered damaged and are oftentimes shamed. If a man is sexually active, he simply made a mistake and he should repent. However, it is not as though the man simply made a mistake, ultimately he was wooed by the sexual wiles of a promiscuous tramp – at least that is what purity culture would have you believe. In the end, women have to not only repress their own sexual desires but somehow they are also responsible for men as well.

We talk about all of this and more. Check out our fascinating interview as we discuss everything from sex to masturbation on the most recent UNenlightenment podcast.