The Battle Within I am standing at the edge of Condemnation’s precipice with no place to run or hide. Disappointment, Dread, Disgust, and Dishonor surround me. They circle me like hungry lions waiting to devour their prey. I’m vulnerable and weak with only Self Loathing and Unworthy by my side offering no comfort. I can see Devastation and Overwhelm approaching with their poison arrows of doubt and destruction and I sink to my knees in surrender at each arrow’s penetration.... Read more
Remembering my time spent as the Ambassador of Joy for the Wildflower in Pagosa Springs, Colorado 15 years ago is one of my favorite memories. It is a job I will never forget. I was allowed creative freedom and I blossomed. Pun intended, LOL! It was a special business where God showed up, His sweet fragrance was the air we breathed, and everyone, from employees to customers, was blessed beyond imagination. Creative at Heart If you’re a creative like me,... Read more
My husband, Trent, and I bought a tandem kayak a few years back. We love it! I wasn’t sure how it would go since we’re both control freaks, but we have creatively come up with a way to work together perfectly. I paddle us all over the lake, and he fly fishes off the back. It’s the perfect symbiotic system. We both benefit and have a wonderful time together. Last year I paddled 21 miles! Marriage is like a tandem... Read more
Fear prevents me from writing. He reminds me of all my flaws. He points out every mistake I make. He laughs at my misspellings and my forgotten punctuation. He taunts me, “No one’s gonna read what you write. So, why are ya still at it?” He points his ugly little finger at the screen and snickers at my attempt to prove him wrong. My Heart and Head are at War Frustration sits with me as only the best frenemy would.... Read more
No matter how hard you try to hide them, social media likes to point out all our mistakes for the world to see. Someone videotaped your outburst or recorded your fall. Next thing you know, it’s gone viral on TikTok or has a million hits on Instagram. BuzzFeed has a headline that reads, “21 Wild Celebrity Fails from This Past Year.” YouTube has another that reads, “Biggest Mistakes Made on Live TV.” Entrepreneur’s article title reads, “10 Stupid Mistakes... Read more
Here I am standing on a new precipice. How in the world will I ever get down? It’s crowded here. I watch the fluid movement of each person adorning their talents and wonder why some are more dynamic than others. Observe Without Notice I crouch behind a table so I can watch without being noticed and discover a blender. I am fascinated by its beauty and become intrigued by what it can do. As I study it, I realize it... Read more
Here I am again back in the same classroom, learning the same lessons. Really? Didn’t I pass with flying colors last time? As I look around, I notice these are new classmates, but everything else seems to be the same. The assignments are being discussed when I see the canvas already laid out and I think to myself, maybe this is the final exam, maybe this is a test to see if I can actually use the tools I was given... Read more
I’ve made several touchdowns lately. Life feels pretty good. In fact, things are going so well that Joy and I are planning a celebration dinner. After all, we’ve worked hard and deserve it, right? Standing in the end zone, I hold the football in the air and strut a victory dance. Unfair Penalty Out of nowhere, a member of the opposing team rushes me, tackles me to the ground, and I fumble the ball. Where did that come from? Where’s... Read more
I was sitting at the table of a group I joined several years ago. I glanced around the table scrutinizing each of the members when I realized I really don’t belong. Analyzed My Situation To my right sat Ego and Pride. Each of them, on their own, is hard to encounter. However, together they are like having a weakened immune system caused by a curable disease and knowing they hold the cure and no way in hell are they giving... Read more
Amazing how two team members working side by side on the volleyball court can experience the exact same situation and walk away with polar opposite perceptions. Ego and Pride Change the Dynamics of the Game Here we are keeping the volleyball in a perfect volley for 2 months solid when Ego and Pride join the game. We quickly divide and the real games begin. The volley continues but not without confrontation. I begin to tire and experience brain fog. Not... Read more
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