Unforgiveness Destroys but Forgiveness Brings Joy

Hurt people hurt.

Let’s face it, we’re all people hurting from one ailment or another. I’ve had my share of being hurt by others. I’ve witnessed mean girl behavior, been on the receiving end of damaging banter, betrayed by loved ones and supervisors, and been bullied more times than I care to remember.

The only way to not be consumed by others’ hurtfulness is to befriend Forgiveness.

But How Do You Forgive What You Cannot Forget?

• I listened to podcasts on forgiveness.
• I read Forgiving What You Cannot Forget by Lisa Terkeurst.
• I read Scriptures – lots of Scriptures. Did you know there are more than 100 verses in the Bible on forgiveness?

God does not take this lightly. He knows we’re human and it is inevitable, because of our sinful nature, that we hurt one another.

He also expects us to, “Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God has forgiven you because you belong to Christ.” (Ephesians 4:32 TLB).

What Does it Mean to Forgive?

“Forgiveness means different things to different people. But in general, it involves an intentional decision to let go of resentment and anger.” – May Clinic

Unfriending Anger and Resentment allowed me to move forward with my life, freed me from my past, and kept me from replaying the offense on repeat in my head.

What Forgiveness is Not:

• Forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to say, “I forgive you,” to your offender.
• It’s not reconciliation. Although it can lead to this.
• “Easy is the road to Forgiveness,” said no one ever. Forgiving those who hurt you may not be easy, but God gives oodles of help.

We cannot do this alone. It requires Grace. God’s abundant grace. “For from His fullness, we have received grace upon grace” (John 1:16 ESV).

Why Forgive?

• Unforgiveness is bad for your health. By not giving the hurt to God, not believing that He died for my sins on the cross and carrying the weight of Unforgiveness around as if he were my child in a chest pack, I suffered from severe health issues that almost caused hospitalization. If I hadn’t learned how to forgive and extend grace, I would not be alive today. I tried to manage high blood pressure, chronic inflammation, and heart palpitations alone until I was borderline diabetic with triglycerides over 300.
• Unforgiveness leads to bitterness. If you allow Unforgiveness to stay, he’ll introduce you to Bitterness and she will take over your whole life like a chronic infection.
• Without Forgiveness you leave your door wide open for Satan to wreak havoc in your life. “If you are angry, don’t sin by nursing your grudge. Don’t let the sun go down with you still angry—get over it quickly; 27 for when you are angry, you give a mighty foothold to the devil.”(Ephesians 4:26-27 TLB).

God’s grace gives forgiveness to me as a gift. I don’t have to sit with Anger. Resentment no longer escorts me around town, and I’m not infected with Bitterness.

Forgiveness brought Joy. When I accepted Forgiveness as my friend, I saw my blood pressure drop, my inflammation decrease, and my heart palpitations return to normal rhythms. I’m no longer prediabetic and with diet and exercise I know I’ll soon see my triglycerides lower too. Not only did my health improve, but I have healthier relationships, too.

Thank you, God, that you extend Your grace to me so that I can, in return, extend grace to others.