THERE’S A VEIL?

When I enrolled in massage school so many years ago, it was yet another foray into the quest for me-ness? You know, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Not expecting too much, after all it was just massage therapy, I threw myself wholly into the process. And, not realizing at the time, that it would save my life. Having said that, I must acknowledge that a series of unrelated, unexpected synchronicities fell into place to allow me to indulge this adventure.Coincidentally, and around the same time, I’d been bitten by the “new age” fascination with all things metaphysical. Ironically, it was the celebrity, wanna-be guru book, “Out on a Limb” by Shirley maclaine that struck a chord so deep and resonant, it near split me in two. I did not realize the journey I was about to plunge in. And it was [always] more visceral than cerebral; and thats where massage school proved to be my liberator.

Hailing from a non-touchy feely, unemotional, familial environment, the thought of having to touch others and be touched was terrifying. Overlay that with unyielding, negative religious training, and imagine the backlash of emotional expression that emerged over the next couple years. Searing pain, terrifying dreams, uncontrollable crying jags, catatonic periods with no memory of what transpired, and the inability to keep food inside my body. And all because someone had touched me in a very, deep, sacred place. But then, the calm after the storm.

One nite, after an exhausting few days, I finally succumbed to a sleeping pill. The dream I had that nite was unbelievably real, and a turning point in what I call my crisis of knowing and understanding. What I most remember about my “birthing” dream was soft, brilliant light infusing everything in a surreal aura. Though no “mystifying” stranger appeared or spoke to me, there was a low, haunting tone that I felt vibrating throughout every cell of my body, and deeply into my very soul.

When I awoke it was light. I lay unmoving for some time. I did not remember the dream, but I felt that something had shifted. In the following days, I began the healing process. I could not read enough metaphysical topics, or speak to enough people whom I had not conversed with before. The cosmos was calling to me loudly and repeatedly. My mind felt like a ten story building full of windows and doors with light shooting in and out persistently. It was amazing how rapidly my psyche welcomed the profound depth of transitional consciousness and evolutionary development that presented itself. It felt so right, and “what took you so long” kinda knowingness.

My awareness of the organized growth and progression of human consciousness led me to so many other light-minded people and places. And there are so many seeking, searching souls ready to open their hearts and minds to being more…..to knowing god, as divine reality. Not a religious, didactic form, but a spiritual authenticiy that
is inherent in each one of us. Breathing life enriching emotions like love, joy, hope, forgiveness, compassion into the fabric of our oneness. We are ready!

I have never felt the guidance of any one particular voice, or believed that one person, or group had the answers to the myriad questions that circle. I think the seekers of wisdom and illumination journey in all corners of the globe. Discovering bits and pieces here and there. Hearing what needs to be heard, sifting and sorting, absorbing and releasing as they wander. In time, we all awaken what we need.

The Veil? A two sided mirror. Conscious/unconscious me. So when we [finally]
look into it’s depths, and it cracks and splinters, all that is left is me. The oneness of self, and thats all there is. What more can I be?

Lolly Odea is a writer/editor, and a massage therapist; both for over 20 years. She’s spent the last number of years creating and presenting seminars and “playshops” for Stress Management, Energetic Body Healing, Breathwork, Spirit and Creativity, Croning, StoryTelling and Labyrinth Design and Building.