Stepping Up

There is a popular illustration about an old mule that fell into a well. The farmer couldn’t bear to shoot the animal so, he simply started shoveling dirt into the hole to bury the long-time friend of the farm. Like many old stories, it has lots of variations, but the important part of the story is how the mule responds. Instead of giving up, each time the shovel full of dirt lands on its back, he shakes it off and takes a step up. Little by little, the level of the floor rises and what was meant to bury the animal becomes its means of escape.

Lately I have had occasion to feel like the mule. The metaphor plays out quickly, but I feel like if I stay where I am, I will soon be buried in mediocrity and despair. My only option is to realize this is not where I am going to stay and the things that are pulling me down (even if it’s people) need to be shaken off and I need to step up to where I’m going (not where I’ve already been).

I don’t think this means I leave friends behind, but sometimes it means I have to change my attachment to them. As I am writing this, it strikes me as a very significant revelation. The attachment I have to my mother has changed many times over the years – it had to. As our lives evolve, sometimes things around us cannot stay the same unless we want to remain in new or existing holes that have developed around us. The way forward, at least in part, is to change the nature of our attachments.

Many of my friends have gone through deconstructions of their faith. By far, the most troubling revelation about our individual journeys is the lack of understanding from our friends. In hindsight, we always can see clearly how they just were not ready to change, but we hoped somehow that they would come along with us. Often to evolve, we must leave some of our friends behind. It may seem like a sacrifice, but eventually we will come to realize that we can form new attachments with them that are much healthier and life giving for both of us.

If our friends are not where we want to be, we may have to leave them for a time to step up to our new reality. Some of the stuff that we may have to shake off is their misunderstanding of our decisions. It is not personal, but our changes and new directions can feel threatening to their stability. Understanding that helps, but it doesn’t always solve the problem.

I pray that nothing stops you from stepping up from the hole you are working yourself out of.

Be where you are, Be who you are, Be at peace!

Karl