After spending several years in the deconstruction world, I benefited from the wisdom of those who traversed it and eventually realized what I shouldn’t do. As in many instances before, pastors and ministry workers demonstrated the lesson of what NOT to do. I am part of this indictment because I was also a former pastor. I will share the mistakes I made that led me to write this book and provide insights on a better way to proceed. When... Read more
A Course Correction for Deconstructing Evangelicals “You are not lazy or unmotivated or stuck. After years of living your life in survival mode, you feel exhausted. There’s a difference.” – Nakia Homer After leaving religion, I quickly realized that I had unresolved traumas I didn’t know how to face. For 20 years, we operated at full throttle, striving to do “God’s work” as if Jesus were returning tomorrow. We acknowledged our issues while also recognizing the efforts we needed to... Read more
Two years ago, I felt like I had stumbled into a nightmare within The New Evangelicals community group. My friend told me about the situation and began sharing information that various people had kept hidden, which led to other details that had been printed and preserved for many years. These receipts involved someone named Tony Jones, and an incident from around 2009 was later amplified when many acted incorrectly in 2015 after Tony’s issues resurfaced. We discussed it in... Read more
“Loneliness expresses the pain of being alone and solitude expresses the glory of being alone.” – Paul Tillich We used to advise young married couples, “If you can’t be alone, you shouldn’t be together.” This conveys that understanding our identity and self-awareness is essential before merging our lives with others. Being comfortable with solitude doesn’t mean we are loners or dislike socializing; rather, it signifies that we can engage in meaningful activities independently during quiet moments. Instead of seeking... Read more
“Like a Fish, Standing on the Beach”[1] This phrase is the title of an episode of Rob Bell’s podcast, The Robcast. In it, he asks, “In the home you grew up in, did you hear the message, ‘Life is an adventure you’re invited to experience’ or ‘Life is a burden to bear’?” Reflecting on this question enables us to evaluate whether we are still affected by negative environmental messages. To move forward, our perspective is vital for uncovering new insights... Read more
“Immutability means God does not change in any way; He is unchanging and, for that reason, perfect in every way.” ~Gospel coalition The universe is continuously changing, mainly because it is always expanding. This indicates that galaxies are moving farther apart over time, and this expansion is even accelerating due to a mysterious force known as dark energy. Molecules are in constant motion—vibrating, rotating, and translating. Their positions and orientations continuously change because of their thermal energy. This movement... Read more
“Ours is a justice system that harms people to show that harming people is wrong.” ~Bryan Stevenson In his famous Letter from The Birmingham Jail, Martin Luther King Jr. wrote, “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly affects all indirectly.”[1] Most segments of our population cry out for justice in various ways. Injustice appears to affect nearly everyone except... Read more
“Patriarchy encourages men to accept male privilege and perpetuate women’s oppression”. ~Allan G. Johnson At times, we question the effectiveness of systems based on their immediate results and the identity of the individual asking. For example, corporal punishment produces immediate outcomes because a significantly stronger adult can easily dominate children. It forces them into submission and somewhat relieves the immediate situation. This practice addresses the pressing issue of misbehavior by instilling fear and coercion. While it delivers quick results, it... Read more
Good Questions – Am I Getting Better? The smart ones ask when they don’t know. And, sometimes, when they do. ~Malcolm Forbes I continue to ask these questions. While some might believe they create bitterness or conflict, I hope they will lead us to a greater understanding. Stepping outside organized religion has enabled me to connect with the universe’s subtle messages and rhythms, allowing me to embrace the peace and solace I discover. My comfort arises not from a fixed... Read more
Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers ~Voltaire I continue to ask these questions. While some might believe they create bitterness or conflict, I hope they will lead us to a greater understanding. Stepping outside organized religion has enabled me to connect with the universe’s subtle messages and rhythms, allowing me to embrace the peace and solace I discover. My comfort arises not from a fixed belief system but from a continual pursuit of... Read more
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