“Life is short, have an affair”… they say. Making sense of Ashley Madison

What is Ashley Madison? It’s the “new thing.” Secretive, scandalous, and seductive.

It is the new dating site. Or at least it was. It targeted married people. Their motto? “Life is short, have an affair.” Their results? 37 million users in 48 countries and 19 languages.

Let’s put that in perspective. That equals the number of people living in the world’s most populated city, Tokyo. Take the US’s 25 most populated cities and you still wouldn’t get that number. Basically it’s a lot.

But something happened recently. Last week a group of superheroes, or hackers, got into Ashley Madison’s hard-drive. Calling themselves “The Impact Team,” they swooped in like Tom Cruise in his first Mission Impossible and got a hold of all personal information for all 37 million cheaters. Here is what they requested: Shut down Ashley or we will release the information. Sounds like something from a movie. (Hint?)

Well of course Ashley did not comply and the first identity was made public- Mr Heavy73 from Brockton, MA.

I must say, it is an interesting world we live in (this coming from a millennial). This is great news and fun to follow. But as a Christian, a minister, a husband, and a father, I am scared.

Here are my thoughts on “today”:

1) There is a deliberate willingness to engage in immorality. Why not divorce (the lesser evil) and pursue someone else? Because it is fun. It makes them feel bad. And that feels good. But don’t worry. Even the great saint Augustine “Confesses” to something like this. Well in his case it involved stealing a neighbor’s pears, not a neighbor’s wife.

2) These people are mentally “strong enough” to stay in a marriage. They are also “mentally strong” enough to seek after other lovers. They are “mentally strong” enough to block out all pictures of their home, their spouses, and their children while having sex with the likes of PlayfulCat76 from Newport NJ. These people are strong-minded. I remember Paul taking to Timothy about this, something about a seared conscious. Strong-minded, seared conscious, same thing.

3) Why aren’t Christians outraged about this? Ms. Ashley is not the only available bachelorette on the Internet block. Tinder boasts of 50 million users. You see, not all heterosexual relationships are kosher, especially not those involving people who have vowed “…in sickness and health… till death do us part.”

4) And on a similar note, I wonder how many have on their Ashley profile under religion: Christian. Maybe because of this we don’t have #3.

Ashley Madison was so foolproof; you couldn’t get caught. Remember when you were young playing hide-n-seek there was this one spot that only you knew about. No one could find you there. It was your spot. You were playing the game but you had the peace of mind that you would never get caught. That is Ashley Madison. There is a panic button that closes everything just in case someone walks in. There is even a “full delete” service that guarantees it will wipe everything clean. It gives you all the fun without having to worry about getting caught… that is until the Impact Team came along.

I remember something Chris Rock said. America’s cultural whiz speaks again.

“You know, some people say life is short and that you could get hit by a bus at any moment and that you have to live each day like it’s your last. B—S—. Life is long. You’re probably not gonna get hit by a bus. And you’re gonna have to live with the choices you make for the next fifty years.”

Life is not short. Don’t have an affair. You’re going to have to live with the choices that you make. Don’t screw up, or screw around. Don’t cause generational hurt. And if you are adulterous, repent, confess, and come to the one who dined with adulterers… before the Impact Team gets to you.