Hijack this thread

When I worked in the bookstore, we played this long-running game with book titles. The game, which was shamefully juvenile but endlessly amusing, was simply to add the phrase “in my pants” to the title of any book. (Similar to Demetri Martin’s observation that anything you say sounds sleazy if you just add the word ladies.)

Once a year, the chain would conduct an inventory of its stores. The staff from the various locations would gather at each store in turn at 6 a.m., tally all the books, and be done by noon. Since this entailed both overtime and free pizza, I kind of enjoyed it. Staff from the other stores never understood what our group was giggling about when we’d have conversations like this one:

“Dave — The Sword of Shannara.”

“Not bad. The Pokey Little Puppy.“

“I’ve got When Bad Things Happen to Good People. I can’t decide whether or not that’s funny.”

You get the idea. The blogosphere seems to be full of people playing different variations on this game. I still think “… in my pants” is a funnier incongruous premise than “… and that’s why I’m voting for Ron Paul” or “… and that’s why you must admit that 9/11 was an inside job,” and regular commenters here will (almost) all agree that it’s funnier than “… which proves taxation is theft, Commie,” but far be it from me to tell other people they have to play the game my way.

“Hijacking” a discussion thread, I realize, is generally frowned on. It’s something that we denizens of the blogosphere tend to complain about or apologize for. But it can also often be kind of delightful. Some things — like, say, 24-hours worth of Inigo Montoya puns — just can’t be planned for.

And but so the point is, I’m inviting you to hijack this thread. Take any of the following subjective, apolitical observations and do your best to turn it into a platform for discussing — vigorously — something completely unrelated. Bonus points will be awarded for building-on/distorting-from preceding comments. I’m going to go get some (obviously much needed) sleep.

The New York Mets seem to be swooning their way out of the playoffs. As a Mets fan, I am disappointed by this.

I recently watched the first season of Slings and Arrows. Brilliant. Netflix has this, so don’t miss it.

It’s been chilly here lately at night but, so far, the blinkers on my Civic still work. (In early November, 1996, the car’s blinker stopped shutting itself off. Then, after the first really warm week in spring, it went back to working normally. It has repeated this pattern every year ever since. Since I’m accustomed to having to turn the blinkers on, having to also turn them off for six months out of the year isn’t really much of an inconvenience, but I still wonder why this happens. The professional opinions of the mechanics I have asked about this over the years were: “That’s weird,” and “It shouldn’t do that.”)

Trader Joe’s is now selling Fair Trade coffees. They are delicious and reasonably priced. This makes me happy.

This evening, for the first time in my life, I will be attending a Parents Night at a nearby school. (I’m not a parent, I’m an “and guest.”) I am nervous about this for many reasons. It probably doesn’t help that my main connotation for such an event involves the image of Spike and a band of vampires taking over the school.

Over the Rhine’s The Trumpet Child is just lovely.