This past weekend was the General Conference for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Sister Tamara Runia gave a talk that changed my life. She talked about Jesus, repentance, and the atonement in a whole new way; infused light into my previous understanding, and I’m forever grateful. I feel inspired to discuss this with you.
The Atonement is a gift
When I was young, I was taught that my sins wounded Jesus. That somehow I contributed to His suffering as I made mistakes. I thought that if I could live my life mistake-free, I would have somehow lightened the weight of the atonement. The thought that I was personally responsible for His pain petrified my young heart. I even had a few nightmares about it.
But Sis Runia taught me that Jesus would have suffered willingly either way. He wanted to ensure we were 100% covered by His atonement. He took on everything that could ever happen, so that we could be confident in the infinite nature of the atonement.
And that instead of our sins adding to His suffering, our acceptance of His atonement adds to His joy. I love that perspective! It makes repentance joyful. Because of her talk, I see the Savior differently. Now I see I was wrong, and I don’t need to be afraid to make mistakes, but I am eager to change and grow. Instead of fearing that I add to his pain, I look forward to Jesus’s gratification as I take advantage of the gift that is already there for me. In her talk, she said:
Sometimes I have to remember, like a Post-it note on my forehead, that the commandments are the path away from pain. And repentance is too. Our prophet said, “The Savior loves us always but especially when we repent.”
So when the Lord says, “Repent ye, repent ye,” what if you imagined Him saying, “I love you. I love you.” Picture Him pleading with you to leave behind the behavior causing you pain, inviting you to step out of darkness and turn to His light.
Everyone is on an individual journey
What a beautiful and enlightening image of repentance! No longer is it a punishment, and your mistakes are not something to make you despair. The love of our Savior means we can confidently turn to him, without fear that we will be rejected.
Sister Runia used to be a diver, and when judges are scoring a dive, they combine the excellence of the execution with the difficulty of the dive. She said,
Everyone is diving with their own degree of difficulty. And your Savior is the only one who truly knows the difficulty you are diving with.
I want a relationship with the one person who gets me, who knows my heart and how hard I’m trying!
He knows the mists of darkness are descending on all of us travelers and that our journey passes by the river of filth- so even when we’re holding to the iron rod, we’re going to get splashed.
Holy cow, those images are powerful! I never allowed myself the grace she just allowed every human soul. Of course, we are going to get dirty on this mortal journey. And that’s ok!
We all need to repent
We are allowed to make mistakes, repent, and grow. Nobody in their right mind would penalize a toddler as they stumble and fall as they learn to walk. But we are often doing that very thing to ourselves as we learn a new principle, but fail to perfect it on the first try. Sister Runia continued:
Our Savior was willing to suffer the pain of His Atonement because He loves you. In fact, you are “the joy that was set before him” while He suffered.
The invitation to repent is an expression of God’s love.
Saying yes to that invitation is an expression of ours.
Picture your favorite image of Christ. Now imagine Him smiling brightly with joy each time you use His gift, because He is the “perfect brightness of hope.”
Yes, your repentance doesn’t burden Jesus Christ; it brightens His joy!
Let’s teach that!
Because repentance is our best news!
We don’t stay on the covenant path by never making a mistake. We stay on the path by repenting every day.
And when we’re repenting, God forgives without shaming us, comparing us to anyone else, or scolding us because this is the same thing we were repenting of last week.
He’s excited every time He sees us on our knees. He delights to forgive us because to Him we are delightful!
Satan, the great accuser and deceiver, uses shame to keep us from God. Shame is a darkness so heavy it feels that if you took it out of your body, it would have an actual weight or heft to it.
Shame is the voice that beats you up, saying, “What were you thinking?” “Do you ever get anything right?”
Shame doesn’t tell us we made a mistake; it tells us we are our mistakes. You may even hear, “Hide.” The adversary does everything in his power to keep the heaviness inside, telling us the cost is too high, that it will be easier if this stays in darkness, removing all hope.
Satan is the thief of hope.
And you need to hear this, so I’ll say these words out loud: You are not the voice in your head or the mistakes you have made. You may need to say that out loud too. Tell Satan, “Not today.” Put him behind you.
Feel that pull, the godly sorrow that turns you toward your Savior, and watch His grace enter into your life and the lives of those you love. I promise that the minute we bring a broken heart courageously toward Him, He is immediately there.
Jesus will be there for us immediately
Immediately! It’s a beautiful thing to know that the Savior will be there immediately when we turn to Him. I remember being a young mother and how often my infant’s needs were immediate. And my immediate response to his needs built trust. With the Savior being there for us immediately, we can trust Him in our times of need. Sis Ruina continued,
Coming unto Christ is saying, ‘Will you help me?’ with hope, a revealed assurance that His arms are extended to you always. I believe this fresh view of repentance means that even though we don’t have perfect obedience yet, we try affectionate obedience now, choosing to stay, again and again, because we love Him.
Remember King Benjamin’s people, who had no more disposition to do evil but only good continually? Do you think they packed up their tents, went home, and never made another mistake? Of course not! The difference is they no longer wanted to sin. They had affectionate obedience! Their hearts were turned and tuned to God while they struggled!
As I heard these words, I knew she was talking about me. My heart is usually in the right place, but my actions don’t always match. I think that is you too. So many of us are working with the best intentions, and yes, intention matters. I now know the quote ‘the road to hell is paved with good intentions’ came from the devil himself.
Keep choosing Jesus
Our hearts, where they are and who they are focused on, matter. And God sees what we intended to do, even when we fall short. Sis Ruina concluded by saying:
Listen for that voice that says good things about you—the voice of the Savior, your finest friend, and your Father in Heaven, who is really there. Remember, Their love and your worth are always great, no matter what!
I stand here to witness that Jesus Christ gives light to those who sit in darkness. So, on those days when you feel that voice telling you to hide, that you should hide in a dark room all by yourself, I invite you to be brave and believe Christ! Walk over and turn on the Light—our Perfect Brightness of Hope.
Bathed in His light, you’ll see people all around you who have felt alone too, but now, with the light on, you and they will wonder, “Why were we so afraid in the dark? And why did we stay there so long?”
“May the Lord of Lights wrap you in His arms and console and love you continually.” May we love Him continually and choose Him, again and again. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
I adore how she called Jesus the Lord of Lights, for He truly is! It has often been said that the Gospel is continuing to be restored. And I feel like her talk was a further restoration of our understanding of Jesus and our relationship with Him. The light and knowledge of the Lord and who He truly is are expanding in my heart. I had so much I didn’t fully understand. I am so grateful for this additional guidance and the joy in my heart. Sister Tamara Runia infused light into my previous understanding. And I’m forever grateful. May you get to know your Savior, Jesus Christ, more every day.
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