A Beauty That Cannot Be Marred: Why I Remain Catholic

I extended an invite to my readers to write about why they remain Catholic, this is one of the submissions I received from someone who lives in my hometown. Okies Unite! This is a beautiful reflection on why people make it difficult to stay in the Church and why people also play a part when we stay. Enjoy.  – Sr. Theresa Aletheia

By Brian Desmarais

Sometimes, it’s hard not to be angry with the Church.

For example, the child sex abuse crisis revealed an astounding level of mismanagement and abuse of authority.

The problem was not so much the predators themselves, for they haunt every profession, but undeniable evidence of bishops choosing to ignore reports of abuse, covering them up to avoid bad press, and a laity that participated in a culture of silence.

How does one stay Catholic after such an erosion of trust?

Sometimes I am asked this by well-meaning friends and family members who have left the Church. My rote response might be, “the Church is composed of sinful human beings,” or I could talk about a gift of the Church like the Eucharist. But the gifts contained within the Church are supposed to make a difference in how we live our lives. I would never had known about the power of the Eucharist unless I was inducted into it by people who themselves were touched by its power. While I love theology, the truth is that it’s not the big ideas that keep me Catholic, but many wonderful (albeit flawed) people who embodied Christ at crucial points of my life.

There was my grandmother, who unfailingly prayed her rosary and several novenas into the night, every night. One evening, when I was staying over her house, I asked what she was praying for. “My grandchildren,” she replied. No wonder she was up so late! It’s not that she simply prayed alot, but that her prayer was a natural extension of the patience and selflessness she practiced with her family.

There was my Confirmation prep teacher; the poor guy didn’t stand a chance. We argued with him on almost every point. Sometimes, his answers were as bad as our questions, which only encouraged us even more. And yet, no matter how much grief we gave him, he stuck with us to the end. He embodied Christ’s commitment in the face of hardship and disappointment.

There was my quirky high school religion teacher. He began class with Thomas Merton and Zen parables, and responded to our questions with more questions. The guy was happily married with kids, but he was a mystic at heart. He demonstrated that the spiritual life is more than following rules, having clear-cut answers, or meeting other people’s expectations; to him the soul was a vast uncharted wilderness where we encounter the Divine presence.

There was the Lasallian Christian brother I lived in community with for two years. He taught me to appreciate fine spirits and read Scripture (not at the same time). He had a special gift for making the Scripture stories come alive for the inner-city kids we served, showing how the stories of salvation history were repeated on a daily basis all around us.

These are just a few of the many who have embodied Christ on my journey of faith. Yes, there are bad apples in the Church. There are even patterns of behavior and social structures that are less than healthy. Without downplaying the serious problems, I am compelled to affirm the Church as a community of overwhelming grace. On every step of the long and bumpy road of my faith journey, God has provided people who nurture, challenge, and encourage me.

When sinners respond to Jesus’ call “follow me,” something very beautiful happens.

If we have eyes to see, this beauty cannot be marred by the darkness.

That is why I stay.

Brian Desmarais lives in Tulsa, Oklahoma. He works as the director of adult faith formation at a Catholic parish. A native of Westport, Massachusetts, he is learning to adapt to life in the Midwest. Brian is married to Megan, a Tulsa native, and they have a three-year-old daughter and a son on the way. His other interests include running, biking, camping, photography, and environmental conservation.