Ultimate Believer Cross Symbol Wall Blessing

Well, I don’t know what I was looking for this morning, but this is what I found:

As the soothing music plays, the following promises are made by whoever Karma and Luck are:

“Ultimate believer cross symbol wall blessing.”

“Holy Soil, Holy Water”

“Will be re-energized and restore hope and faith in your home.”

“Certificate of Authenticity: This is to certify that this product is HANDMADE IN THE HOLY LAND.”

“While multiple gemstones radiate healing energy.”

“Manifest your dreams with Karma and Luck, your partner in belief.”

Gosh, I could really use some radiating healing energy right now. On the other hand “ultimate believer cross symbol” strikes me as being a bit more telling than probably any of these Karma and Luck people could possibly know. I feel like probably “Karma and Luck” might want to do a little bit more research about the various giftings they are offering to the internet world.

On the other hand, what a powerful symbol. I liked this bit from the lections this morning:

After some days Felix came with his wife Drusilla, who was Jewish, and he sent for Paul and heard him speak about faith in Christ Jesus. And as he reasoned about righteousness and self-control and the coming judgment, Felix was alarmed and said, “Go away for the present. When I get an opportunity I will summon you.” At the same time he hoped that money would be given him by Paul. So he sent for him often and conversed with him. When two years had elapsed, Felix was succeeded by Porcius Festus. And desiring to do the Jews a favor, Felix left Paul in prison.

I would bet that Felix went along for those two years “believing” in the money bit just as much as the Karma and Luck people are believing in all of us gullible Americans. Though, for Felix, he would have probably found his belief fading as he got to know Paul better and better, whereas Karma and Luck seem to be eminently rational and full of business sense. We are ready to plunk our money down for anything that will increase our material happiness in one way or another. And by “we” I mostly mean everyone but me, but also me a little bit. I’ve been working out my Amazon Wishlist and it keeps getting longer and longer. You know what would make me happy this Christmas? More Stuff. But not this weird and creepy cross with it’s “healing energy” gemstones.

Honestly, God is so disappointing. While everyone is just trying to have a happy Christmas, he comes along as an irritating baby, burdening humanity with his presence one Biblical Passage at a time. Also, the cross…really? As an “ultimate believer cross symbol wall” thingy I find it as offensive as it was meant to be. Like, a person being nailed up there and dying an excruciating death that he “believes” (if the word belief is used for actual objective, verifiable knowledge) I, of all people, deserve to die–that if I got the “karma” I deserved I would actually go into the farther reaches of hell because of how wicked I am–out of what? Love? Mercy?

What a curious blessing. Well, anyway, I’ve got stuff to do. Have a nice day or something.