50 years after the Yom Kippur war, my soul remembers.
Yom Kippur is known as a day of atonement and self- forgiveness.
A time for reconciliation and spiritual growth.
However, for me, it is not just about forgiveness.
It is a reminder of my first true meeting with loss and grief.
The pains of war.
50 years after the war, my soul remembers.
I had just turned 15, it was a warm but comfortable Oct. day.
The quiet and peacefulness of Yom Kippur and Shabbat (Jewish Sabbath, Saturday)
appeared on the same day.
I was sitting in the yard of my parent’s Kibbutz home in Israel.
My father, and I were playing Shesh Besh, our usual Shabbat game.
Even on our secular Kibbutz, on this solemn day, no radios or TV stations played.
There was a tranquil quietude.
Suddenly, word got out, we needed to open the radio, conflict had erupted.
War had stolen the calm of Yom Kippur.
That was fifty years ago, a childlike innocence had left me.
The scenes that followed that moment would forever shape my relationship with Yom Kippur.
The scenes that followed that moment have forever shaped my relationship with Yom Kippur.
My new brother in-law, along with all the age-appropriate men were called up to serve.
Teenagers, women as well as the men that stayed behind took over all the Kibbutz chores.
My job was one that would shape my calling to work with those touched by grief and loss.
I was asked to accompany and show Army officers to the homes of fallen soldiers.
8 times I walked these officers to the front door of homes they wished they didn’t have to visit.
2 of these homes were my parent’s next-door neighbors.
There was no time for self -reflection, forgiveness or reconciliation, just moments to endure.
Only years later did I understand how unknowingly those days would guide my path.
I decided, the age of 45 was a good time to reconcile with Yom Kippur.
At the age of 45, I decided it was time to reconcile with Yom Kippur.
Basically, I wanted to familiarize myself with the spiritual gifts it offered.
Trusting that time had healed wounds.
A Jewish Spirituality student, I was thrilled to learn the different spiritual avenues of Yom Kippur.
I looked forward to my yearly Yom Kippur fast and soul cleansing.
A new relationship with Yom Kippur had been formed.
At least for a while.
I didn’t want to lose the spiritual Yom Kippur experiences I had so mindfully acquired.
Last week, I was listening to an Israeli news station, when I heard the next segment being announced.
“50 years to the Yom Kippur war.”
I could feel the wounds of the past flow through me.
Demons of my Yom Kippur relationship had once again come to visit.
The pathways to homes of the bereaved families were awakened.
Past sorrow and grief came knocking at my heart’s door.
I didn’t want to lose the spiritual Yom Kippur experiences I had so mindfully acquired.
So, I decided to write about it, here to you.
Acknowledging what was as I welcomed new healing.
Healing never ends, but with time I believe we welcome it with more ease.
May their memory be for a blessing.
I invite you to learn about my newsletter Morning Inspiration
and my book A Heart’s Landscape,An Invitation to the Garden of Moments
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