This is one of those posts I’ve been wanting to do for a long time, but I didn’t quite know what all I wanted to say. Because of all the female cultural enforcers of Quiverfull Evangelical thought Lori Alexander is currently the most damaging. She wreaks havoc in the lives of those who attempt to follow her advice.

That was a spot taken up by others through the years, from Mary Pride to Nancy Campbell and Debi Pearl among others. The only one of those ladies that comes even remotely close to the level of damage inflicted by unBiblical dangerous theology is Debi Pearl. Debi openly hates on others, using demeaning terms like ‘Hillbilly Ugly in her writings, but even Debi has been outdone on that score by Lori Alexander of The Transformed Wife. Debi is also getting older, her message is losing steam and she’s becoming irrelevant, which emboldens Lori.

Someone asked me the other day in one of the Facebook groups I am in if Lori Alexander has ever once posted a kind, positive, uplifting word. I had to think about that one quite a while, mentally reviewing the reams of material churned out by Lori and I could not come up with a single one. I thought surely she must have once said something kind? All of her theology hinges on being hyper critical of others or inflating her opinions as being the same as God’s.

Here’s a few reasons that I think Lori Alexander does more damage than the average woman teaching other woman.

Judging and Bullying Others

In my journey through life I’ve discovered time and again that hyper critical people tend to be bullies. Only intent on having their own ways. Controlling, hateful, ruthless, hypocritical. Without a scrap of humility.

This fits a lot of people I’ve known, from Abby Lee Miller of the reality television show “Dance Moms” through to too many in the sphere of influence in Christianity, including Lori Alexander.

Recently I sat through a sermon on Matthew 7 :1-5 on judgmental ism with an eye towards the hyper critical, like Lori Alexander. Matthew 7 talks about not judging because you will be judged by God exactly the same way you judged others, and all that jazz about planks in eyes when you’re criticizing someone with sawdust in their own eyes.

Matthew 7 is pretty clear, as clear as glass or mountain spring water. Do not judge. Let’s face it, we all judge to some extent. I know I do, even as I really don’t want to judge. I have to keep reminding myself that I don’t know what someone else’s mind, heart or motivation is. Do not presume you know it all about anyone else.

The same ruthlessness of judgement you use the laws of karma and universal reciprocity show you will experience. I’ve seen that happening without mixing Jesus into it.

Lacking all humility

Lori Alexander recently tried to ‘rebuke’ Joshua Harris for his marriage split, and she inserts herself and her wishes in too many situations that quite frankly are none of her business.

Lori refuses to consider the points of views of other people, has an unteachable spirit, and closed mind.

She’s never once posted anything that could be construed as humble, not once. Nothing that meets the measure of a humility as a beggar telling other beggars where the bread is.

No inner reflections or examining her own heart or motives

She never once looks at her own motives. if she’s posting to make herself feel better about herself or if she genuinely cares about the needs of others.

This lack of all love, grace, humility, kindness shows in everything she does. Anyone getting close is going to end up crushed at some point. Angry hateful miserable people spread their misery onto everyone around them.

She has never once posted about the great love of Jesus, the forgiveness of God, or any loving kindness or mercy.

All about controlling others

Lori makes every effort to control. She even goes so far as to control any discussion at her site to a detrimental and unhealthy degree. She cannot handle anything she cannot control.

What happens when Lori cannot control others, their words or thoughts? She gets angry, and this type of martyrbating happens.

Sadly this is one of the few references to love of any type Lori has posted. She pulled it down after several people pointed out to her that others not agreeing with her isn’t automatically evil. She’s not God.

Ideas unsupported by either scripture or common sense

Like this very morning, where Lori decided to tweet out about how Date Night does not help marriages, so don’t do it is the implication.

She genuinely thinks all bad marriages are nothing but arguing and fighting? This is illustrative of one of the worst things about Alexander’s thinking, assumptions and theology. There is only one of two ways to do things, or to be, no other options allowed.

Date Night’s might not ‘fix’ a broken marriage but they also can be a tiny step in the right direction. Lori loves to throw away not just the baby with the bathwater, but the soap, wash cloth and towel too.

How on earth is someone supposed to live up to such rules so tightly defined and never backed by anything to do with God?

Just look at her claims about food, the expensive butter she uses and a million other ways Lori claims you must live. Many of her followers aren’t living in an expensive house, with a husband who makes large amounts of money, meaning there’s no way to follow her advice without going into debt, or ending up with a heap of guilt because you cannot. In Lori’s world she cannot conceive that others live differently and it’s perfectly fine! Her world view and experience she believes are the same for everyone else in her circle.

A harm in every word

I could go on and on pointing out how harmful it is to take her words 100% literal, but I would be here all day. Let me say that there are two points I want to make about why I think she should not be looked up to or emulated. There are my personal criteria for if a person is worthy of following.

1. When their response to others if peaceful, compassionate and filled with genuine emotions like sorrow, love, kindness. They are genuine.

2. Those travelers on this planet that want to see others flourishing! Not just their approved frozen chosen others, but everyone!

Doesn’t sound at all like the teachings of one Lori Alexander at all. This is why I talk of Lori so much at NLQ. She is the nexus of all horrible and possibly criminal ideas when she is supported by people like Vaughn Ohlman and Larry Solomon.

Hurting people hurt others. The last thing they need to be doing is spreading that hurt to others.

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