Church Speed-Dating Sunday

You’ve heard of speed-dating. It’s usually set up in a restaurant. Singles sign up in order to meet new people. When it begins, a single meets with another single at a table. One single talks for one minute, then the other single talks for the next minute. They break up and move on to the next single. On it goes. Many insist that speed dating saves time, as most people intuitively know immediately if they are romantically compatible, and the first impression is often the permanent one.

So, here’s my idea: Church Speed-Dating Sunday. That’s right. On one Sunday a year, maybe the first Sunday of January, everyone’s membership and commitment to a certain church is automatically absolved. If they don’t wish to be cleared and desire to stay at that church, they must actively indicate so. Everyone else is liberated over the Christmas holidays. No questions asked! Then, on the first Sunday of January, every church in town runs 10 minute services every half hour from 9am to 7pm, depending on how many churches participate. Each particular church, understanding that most people are easily impressed and that if they are impressed this good impression might last about a year at most, will put on the best darn show possible in 10 minutes.

Now, assuming we might have enough people stay to pull this off, our church might do it this way: 3 minutes of worship consisting of the best musicians, with songs selected from the top 10 worship song list of the current week, and the worship leader will be totally pumped on a caffein patch; 1 minute offering while someone gives a testimony about how he gave his heart to Jesus and Jesus in turn gave him a million dollars; 2 minutes break with the absolute best coffee available as well as fine pastries with certain people practiced in small talk working the room; then 3 minutes of the most motivational feel-good sermon the pastor can possibly preach… I mean his or her best sermon he or she ever preached distilled into 3 minutes (yes, it’s possible!); then 1 minute prayer for miracles with accompanying signs and wonders. And everyone is dressed their best.

I realize in writing this that I’m giving away my strategy and that there are several other churches in this area who would do exactly the same thing, and that there are tons of people floating around looking for exactly the same thing. But I would add the secret ingredient: I would trust God and believe that he wants the best thing for me and my church. I would speed-date with faith. He would want me to succeed.

All those in favor say, “I do… for now!”

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