Among the many stories within the Easter story one that continues to hold my attention is that of Peter’s denial of Jesus.
After several significant encounters, after turning over the tables of the money-changers, after gathering together for a special meal, probably the Passover feast, after the betrayal to the authorities and Jesus’ arrest, when the disciples scattered in confusion and fear, Peter, one of his closest disciples had his own telling encounter.
When the awfulness ahead was only a foreshadowing Peter famously declared that even if everyone else would abandon him, he, Peter, would stand with Jesus. In the story, Jesus told Peter that he would not only deny him, but would do so three times.
And in the story, in the bad times, wracked with fear and confusion, Peter does.
I think about transformation as the heart of the spiritual encounter. The hope we can find in our religious experience is that we are not condemned to always be the way we are. We can change. As a religious liberal I think this transformation mostly happens within relationships. And so as I think about Easter, I think about how we do find our possibility within relationships. I think about sacred covenant, about our commitments to work together to transform our own hearts and the world. And I find it hard when thinking about this to not also think of Peter’s betrayal.
How many times in your encounters with your friends, particularly those who you have covenanted with to be together, to comfort and challenge and walk the way, together; how many times have you denied them? How often have you betrayed your friends and your ideals? I’m horrified to think of how I’ve betrayed my friends, in small ways, and large. All, in the wake, I notice, of my having called others to the path, held it up, said deep things about how important it is in places like high pulpits. I think of that old saying that the Zen enterprise is one continuous mistake. This is one spiritual comment I understand.
I feel that we are human and we are going to fall short of our highest aspirations – and there is something more, a sort of good news. It’s a good news found in the story of Peter’s denial of Jesus. Peter’s three is a magic number, means lots. Like Peter, even if we’ve sworn our life commitment to a path of relationship, we will fall short, over and over again.
But, like Peter, when we see it, our failure, our mistake, even our betrayal, if we pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again, then the harvest isn’t far away. Our commitment isn’t to perfection; our commitment is to returning, and returning and returning…
And, for that good news, hallelujah!
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