When Wives and Mothers Work Outside the Home

Have you noticed a trend lately? Maybe it’s less prevalent in the more conservative, traditional parts of our nation. But I’ve heard from a number of women who’ve encountered a troubling tendency for our culture to look down on domestically centered women.

As if there’s something unfortunate—or even backward—about the idea of a stay-at-home mom or a full-time homemaker.

This is shameful. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: a woman who is a good homemaker and mother is doing a great service to God, her husband, her children, her community and society at large.

In my marriage counseling, I’ve noticed that, as more women transition from home-centered to career-centered lives, they experience less personal satisfaction.

Much of this comes from a sense of guilt when a mother must leave her children with a babysitter or day care. Now matter how excellent the temporary caregiver, that mother instinctively knows she needs to be with the children herself.

I am not saying that a working woman can’t be a good mother, and I realize that many moms work because they don’t have a choice. In today’s economy, having the option to work or stay home is definitely a luxury.

I do not wish to condemn mothers who work, because many, many working women are wonderful wives and mothers. But the truth is that the more a woman detaches herself from a nurturing, caring home environment, the less satisfaction she’ll derive from life.

What’s the answer? It’s not for a woman to be confined to a house all day unless she’s running family-related errands. Not at all. The answer is for a woman to strive to keep her attention focused on her home—while carefully monitoring her activities outside the home—so the family unit benefits from her care and attention.

Another reason women are less satisfied when they become detached from the home is that women have a natural desire to be provided for by their husbands. Many women love to volunteer for church or charity activities. They may seek a job to make extra money.

But they do not appreciate being forced to carry the financial burden of the household.

When a husband is not leading his wife properly in this way, it results in an emotional void. The severity of this void varies, but one thing is common: Women feel insecure when they are not being taken care of properly by responsible male leadership.

And when this type of male leadership isn’t present or available, don’t blame the woman. Blame the man who is not following God’s plan for him to love his wife as Christ loves the Church (Eph. 5:25).

If men led like they should, women would be more secure, families would be stronger, and marriages would be healthier.