I’ve written a lot about how to forgive your ex-spouse and anyone else who may have played a role in the break-up of your marriage these past months, and as our Jubilee Year of Mercy comes to a close, I’d like to write about taking a step toward healing that is closely related to forgiveness, but is often overlooked; letting go. Initially, the issue of letting go might seem to be the same as forgiving, and in a sense it is. But... Read more
I’m taking a rare break from my normal outreach to divorced Catholics to share this outstanding must-see sermon by Father John Lankeit from Ss. Simon and Jude Cathedral in Phoenix, AZ. I share this with you in hopes you will take to heart the excellent points laid out by this priest before you cast your vote on November 8th. I don’t normally throw my hat into the political ring, but knowing how frustrating this election season has been to so... Read more
Sometimes, the toughest thing in life to deal with is suffering because it’s not a pleasurable experience and of course, our immediate reaction is to stop the pain. So many people believe pain is just a pointless waste of time. But this perspective prevents us from recognizing the great opportunities for good that are being missed, and that is truly where the waste of time lies. When the loss of a marriage occurs, suffering and grief is experienced on many... Read more
An unfortunate reality these days is the high rate of Catholics who divorce, which happens for many reasons despite the Catholic Church’s upholding of Christ’s teaching on divorce. For some, it is an excuse to exit an unhappy marriage. For others, it is forced upon them, whether they are the abandoned spouse or are compelled to choose that option as a means of protection from an abusive relationship. That’s not some bogus way of saying divorce is okay, because it’s... Read more
One of my all-time favorite movies is When Harry Met Sally. Not really because it’s filled with virtuous messages, but more because it highlights the real-life struggles single men and women experience in trying to make their dating and marriage relationships work – and what happens when they don’t. An especially favorite scene of mine is when Billy Crystal’s character, Harry, melts down in front of his friends after bumping into his ex-wife, and is overwhelmed with staggering emotions of anger... Read more
I’m so lonely! I practically choked on those words, and when I dared to share how I felt with my friend during our phone conversation one cold, gray Connecticut winter day back in 1998, they were accompanied by some very bitter tears. It had been five years since my ex-husband had walked out and filed for divorce at that point, and in that time I had put a lot of hard work into rebuilding my life. I had friends, a... Read more
It was 10pm on Saturday, the night after Hurricane Matthew hit our little suburb of Charleston, South Carolina. I was sitting outside with our neighbors, sipping wine and watching all the dark figures of our kids play tag in the pitch black night. We’d been without electricity for a while by this point and without street lamps, the handful of candles we had set out were the only illumination we had, but the kids couldn’t have cared less. They were having... Read more
One of the great paradoxes of being a divorced Catholic is trying to reconcile obedience to the 2nd greatest commandment, Love your neighbor as yourself, with the feelings of anger, resentment, and devastation that come as a result of the loss of a marriage. It can be quite the precarious task to undertake if your ex-spouse is combative and hostile, even for those who are more willing to forgive and be charitable. These encounters can leave you feeling helpless and as if you... Read more
With just 52 days left in our Extraordinary Jubilee Year of Mercy, I am offering you a unique experience on this blog, a special video series on "The 6 Keys To Healing After Divorce" to help you take advantage of the special graces offered during this time and end the year on a more peaceful note. Read more
Does God really have a plan? Was my divorce part of his plan? I have heard people speak these words so many times over the years and although they are painful words, they are also springboards to personal growth. The devastation of divorce causes one to go in search of answers and in search of God, even if one is angry with him. Why has God allowed all this pain? If he intended marriage to be forever, why hasn’t he... Read more
Lisa Duffy: A Million Unheard Souls
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