Tucker Carlson Kicked Off Flight

FOX News personality Tucker Carlson was escorted off a Delta flight before takeoff early this morning. Security officers physically moved the fifty-two-year-old out of his seat and off the plane. Eyewitnesses report passengers cheered as the conservative icon left.

Mr. Carlson has a history of spreading misinformation about COVID. In the past, he accused Dr. Anthony Faucci of creating the virus. He’s also used his show to attack science-based public health measures like lockdowns and mask mandates. He also stated the virus wasn’t deadly. It isn’t a surprise that he refused to put on a facemask once he boarded the flight.

“We have strict policies about FOX News personalities who fly with us,” said flight attendant Amy Canard. “It’s a no tolerance one. They either follow the rules or they’re gone.”

High-level anonymous sources at Delta say they developed the strategy after FOX News personality Laura Ingraham started a fistfight with another passenger in first class over voting rights. Ms. Ingraham made the entire flight miserable. She was eventually charged with assault and given probation as well as community service.

Delta’s internal incident report was leaked to the press. It shows Mr. Carlson was adversarial from the start. Once he was seated in first class he started preaching to other passengers how they should all “engage in disobedience” over mask mandates. He also confronted a child and told them to “take off the mask because there’s no evidence it’s going to help you.” The parent later noted the only thing worse than watching Tucker Carlson was being close to him on an airplane.

Mr. Carlson is being held by law enforcement and waiting to see a judge.

In related news, Senator Rand Paul’s medical license was revoked.

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