i know it has been too long since i have posted.
as you can imagine, with 19 hours of college, as many hours of work as i can handle, and squeezing in fund raising in all my “free time” blogging has taken a back seat in my life.
but your comments are read and greatly appreciated, and your prayers are truly felt. your donations of even what seems a small amount are being wired immediately to feed hungry children.

i turned twenty sunday and marveled at the last year of my life. between nineteen and twenty i have learned to be a teacher, a nurse, a handyman (plumbing and electrical work included), a cook, an exterminator, a maid, a servant, a mentor, a mother, and most importantly a daughter of the King. i have built for myself a home with an adoring family and started a thus-far-successful (only by the grace of God!) business that is helping people in need. and the thing is that while it has been my hands doing the work, I HAVE DONE NONE OF IT. often people ask me how i do it, and the answer is so simple – i don’t. a little coffee and a whole LOT of Jesus. this plan, these “accomplishments”, they are so not my own.

i am dependent. powerless. weak. drowning. and while all those adjectives should sound scary, they have me in a beautiful place: a place where i can’t go one minute without crying out to my Father or i will sink. i am grateful for this place. paul says in his letter to the philippians that he “knows the secret”. he has been well fed and he has been starving. he has lived in abundance and he has lived with nothing. his revelation? that he can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens. sometimes i wish that i was still living in the hungry, needy state in which i lived in uganda. sometimes i feel that it is easier to cling to Jesus in that state of having nothing than it is to cling to him in my current state of abundance. but the thing is, although i am not physically hungry or in need, my soul is thirstier than ever. and paul’s secret remains true; as i let Him strengthen me, there is nothing He cannot accomplish through me.

i owe great thanks to many who have helped me on this journey.

to those of you who keep pursuing me, you are truly servants. i know that in my consumption with doing his work i have been neglectful, unable to do anything at night but fall into bed without returning the seven phone calls and 40 emails of the day. thank you for not giving up. it is such a huge encouragement to me when people like Pastor Steve, who i have neglected to call back, call and remind me that they are doing everything in their power to help, when people like Erin email their constant encouragement and continue offering to help even when i haven’t given them much to do yet, when people like my best friend caroline will drive home from knoxville to see me even when i haven’t returned a phone call in two weeks. YOU are showing me the unconditional love of Christ, and i am grateful. so so extremely grateful.

to those of you who have allowed me to become family, to sit on your couch and snuggle your children while i talk about mine, the oatsvalls, the mayernicks and the mays, thank you is not enough for the love that you have shown me!

for all who are donating and praying, the faithfulness of the Lord is evident to me THROUGH YOU every single day. you are a part of my miracle! please continue with me in being His hands and feet.

i can’t wait to see what happens between now and twenty-one…