Joy’s Important Reminder

From Joy:

I’ve had this conversation with so many friends. I am a fixer, but this I cannot fix. So I listen.

Some of my friends suffered abuse and mistreatment from parents suffering from severe mental illness. Others were raised by good people who for whatever reason couldn’t or wouldn’t demonstrate affection or approval. Or their parents stopped showing approval when they spread their wings. Other parents couldn’t handle it when a child chose their own path. Still others disown a child over disagreements of theology or practice.

We talk at length about why. What could cause a parent to withhold the unconditional love we all seem to universally agree is the standard?

Is it personal? Do they think their child’s choices are criticisms of their parents?

Or are the parents unable to make the transition from relating as parent-child to relating as peers?

Do some parents simply not know how to convey to their children that they are in fact proud of their children?

Do some parents think they need to keep parenting their children by withholding approval and affection, holding some sort of moral high ground?

Are some parents too unhappy and in pain themselves to give their children what they need?