Do you remember ever having a really great teacher in school — someone who inspired you to learn and to do your best? If so, you’ll probably recall that he or she challenged you to a much greater degree than most of your other teachers. At the time, the extra challenge may have seemed unfair, or even cruel. Yet looking back on it, you realize that it was not cruel at all, but rather was a true expression of respect for, and confidence in, your ability to learn and grow.

Life outside of school has its great teachers, too. And the best ones often seem unfair, unkind and even brutal. Those teachers include disappointment, sorrow, confusion, loneliness, and frustration. They are all painful and yet some of our greatest learning and growth can come from them. They challenge us and compel us to reach higher. They help to reveal our true character, and by so doing build that character to be even stronger.

All experiences in life are learning experiences. The disappointments are usually the most powerful and effective teachers. A crucial step in bouncing back from defeat is making the effort to learn from that defeat. By learning something useful from it, you begin to extract the positive value from a negative experience.

There is a lesson — perhaps many lessons — to be learned. What you learn can, at the very least, help you avoid the same mistake again. And it will likely go far beyond that. Though it has been painful, there is value in your defeat. You’ve already paid the price for this useful knowledge. Be sure to take advantage of it. Find a lesson in your defeat and you will have already begun to bounce back in a meaningful way.