A baby is supposed to fill us with unspeakable joy, but for someone who has walked through the nightmare of postpartum depression, the fear can be crippling. After my son’s birth, I suffered from severe postpartum depression. It was the darkest time in my life. I was hospitalized for nearly two weeks and separated from my newborn for most of that time. The situation was completely beyond my control, but I felt so much shame over it. With the help of... Read more
I have found God in the midst of the mess. And I’ll never be the same. Let’s go ahead and get this out of the way: I am not a Miley Cyrus fan. I was too old to care about Hannah Montana and I didn’t love her achy breaky daddy either. That song was awful, even when it was popular, but this daughter of his, she’s a whole new level of what in the literal hell is going on? She... Read more
*Trigger Warning: This story contains graphic details of child molestation.* To be a christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God forgave the inexcusable in you. -C.S. Lewis I was twelve when my dad left my mom. To be honest, I really don’t remember what life was like before the divorce. I don’t remember the good or the bad. Everything’s a blur. And there are parts of the story after the divorce I often wish I could magically blur away.... Read more
Ever wondered how to stop living in the past and be present in the now? It’s possible. Here’s how. How many times do I go back to my past and try to find life there? Digging up memories of former hurts, dwelling on old mistakes and pain I buried years ago? It reminds me of Mary and Martha, the day they went back to the tomb of Jesus and found it empty. But I’m definitely not trying to resurrect Jesus. More... Read more
What would you tell your twenty-year-old self? Here’s some wisdom and grace from Sarah. To my twenty-year-old self: Oh, sweet girl, things are going to get better. You’re going to get through this. I know you don’t believe it. Everything seems shattered, as you lie gasping under the weight of searing pain. You hate yourself for not being able to make it better. You don’t know life apart from shame. Somewhere this belief that you’re intrinsically toxic has taken root.... Read more
We pulled up to our new little cottage and just stared. This was it — we were actually going to live out our dream in Seward, Alaska of all places — a tiny little town in Resurrection Bay. A few blocks in one direction took us to the waterfront and a few blocks in the other led directly to the mountain path. Our little rental home withstood the tsunami from the late 1960’s, but the original hardwood floors still creaked... Read more
After two days of panic attacks and a scary spike in my blood pressure, I left work early and drove myself to the doctor’s office, full of shame and anxiety. Every stop light seemed to make it worse. Although I don’t normally have road rage, the little old lady in front of me was making my forehead sweat. Once I arrived, the doctor put me back on meds (I should have never stopped them) and took me off caffeine. I... Read more
Do you have a less-than-perfect mother? Is she deceased and your memory of her doesn’t exactly make you want to celebrate on Mother’s Day? Mother’s Day isn’t easy for everyone. We don’t get to choose our parents. But in this video, I will share some thoughts around wisdom and grace that I learned from two of my favorite people: Anne Lamott and Carl Nicholson. Check it out and PLEASE share it. https://youtu.be/sj7x8-_F08E Read more
Steve and I had been passionately in love during the early years. Date nights, trips out of town, words of affirmation, deeds of service, time spent: you name it, we did it. We were experts at keeping the romance alive. My second child was just shy of five months old when my husband wrecked my car. Instead of being concerned for his safety, I wanted to run away. He may have been stranded on the side of the interstate, but... Read more
How and what are you teaching your children about fear? When you make friends with fear, it can’t rule you. -Anne Lamott Ben and I had a wonderful time feeding the ducks at the park. When I looked down at my watch, it was 7:03pm. I couldn’t believe two hours had passed in that one brief blink. We’d thrown bread to the mallards and the Canadian geese and stood at a semi-safe distance and watched the little goslings as they... Read more
Grace is Messy
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