One of my greatest weaknesses is my temper. I pray for inner peace; I have for years, decades even, asked God to help me be more patient and even tempered when provoked. A longing for inner peace and the ability to overcome my anger often find a place in my prayer life. With each new frustration and irritable outburst, it feels as if my prayer has gone unanswered.
Anger Sparked by Vinaigrette Everywhere
One evening this past spring, my husband and I were getting ready to eat a quick dinner before going to the 7:00 p.m. Good Friday church service. The menu included rotisserie chicken from Costco, white rice, and a spinach salad with balsamic vinaigrette with avocado oil. We had just enough time to eat and make it to church on time.
The chicken was sliced, the rice hot, and the salads in their glass salad bowls. I picked up the dressing and noticed that the vinegar and oil had already separated since my husband put some on his salad, so I shook it. Avocado oil and balsamic vinegar erupted all over the counter, the wall, the air fryer, the floor, and my jeans. It went everywhere but on my salad.
My initial reaction was to yell, “Why didn’t you screw the lid back on the dressing?!?” But I stopped before the words erupted like the dressing had. Feeling God’s calming presence, I laughed and began to clean up the mess. My husband filled up the sink with hot, soapy water and washed the counter with a soapy cloth.
Then we sat down to enjoy our dinner. And we made it to church on time. We had to clean up a bit more when we got home, but working together we made things spotless.
My Prayer for Inner Peace Answered
It turns out that God has listened the many times I pray for inner peace. He had answered my prayers after all. Not immediately or even quickly, but He did answer.
Have I lost my temper since then? Well, yes, I have. But not as often as I once did. And usually I feel that Holy Spirit nudge to pause and calm down before responding to some unexpected provocation.
Love Is Not Easily Angered
I also pray to be more loving. I think of the famous love chapter of the Bible, 1 Corinthians 13. It says, in part, “Love is patient, love is kind . . . it is not easily angered.” (verses 4-5).
I wrote a poem once titled “Hate is . . .” in which I turned this beloved chapter on its head. I wanted to look at what is the opposite of love. The relevant stanza for this article is this:
Hate is easily angered,
irritated by the slightest mistake,
hot-headed, unwilling to forgive
The thought that one who loves is not “irritated by the slightest mistake” convicted my heart. And my husband not screwing the lid back on the dressing wasn’t even really a mistake. He left it open because he knew I would use it next. To have been irritated by this situation would not have been loving.
Continuing to Pray for Inner Peace
Although I experienced a victory over my temper in this situation, I did not quit praying. I still pray for inner peace, for God to help me overcome my natural tendency to be easily irritated. Instead of giving in to my natural inclination, I want to exhibit the fruit of the Spirit.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.
Galatians 5:22-26 NIV.
I’m not alone in this struggle or the only author to write about it. A quick search here on Patheos brought up too few articles to help those who are prone to this sin. One good article I found is “How to Keep Your Anger under Control” by Scott Slayton. Prayer is one of the methods he suggests, along with reading God’s Word.
Closing Prayer for Inner Peace
Heavenly Father, I pray not only for myself, but for each reader pondering this post, that You would help us all to be more loving, patient, and kind. Help us to not allow a quick temper to rule our response to real or perceived mistakes. I pray we would step into the shoes of the one we grow angry with and see their perspective. Cultivate in each of us the fruit of the Spirit and inner peace. In Jesus’s name, amen.
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