Adversity | Sydney Parmelee

Adversity by Sister Sydney Parmelee

I’m Sister Parmelee.

Growing up, my family always had a saying, “You can do hard things.” Now whether that was used when talking about taking out the trash or waking up for school in the morning, it has become such a focus in my life especially on my mission.

Adversity is a part of our life. We’ve been studying and teaching the plan of salvation a lot and what is so cool is remembering that we signed up to come here. We agreed to be tested and tried. Heavenly Father explained that coming to Earth came with difficulties and that we would have adversity because that is exactly what we need to grow and learn.

“Hope Ya Know, We Had a Hard Time”

There’s a talk that I love by Quentin L. Cook called, “Hope Ya Know, We Had a Hard Time.” And in it he shares,

This life is not always easy, nor was it meant to be; it is a time of testing and proving.

Having adversity as a disciple of Christ can bring us purpose and comfort. It is why we are here. Our job as His disciples is to gain experience and become like our loving Heavenly Father. It helps us to come to know and believe in both our hearts and minds that the principles and ordinances of the gospel are true!

Our Baptismal Covenant Gives Insight to Life’s Challenges

Remember the covenant that is made at baptism:

Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God.

This scripture teaches us that we are going to have moments in our lives where we will mourn, where we will need comfort. But even during those times we are able to hold fast to the understanding that we are his disciples and we have the power to stand as his witness and trust in him and the trials that he gives us

Why do bad things happen to good people?

We all have had those hard times in our lives, and I’m sure we’ve all heard or asked the question, “Why do bad things happen to good people?”  but we know and can learn in the scriptures that some trials are for our good and they’re suited for our own personal development!

There’s a lot of reasons life has adversity or difficulties:

• Sometimes it’s a consequence of pride and disobedience
• Sometimes it’s just a part of life
• Sometimes it’s because of others poor choices or hurtful words and actions

Adversity isn’t something that we can control, but it is something that our loving Heavenly Father trusts us to learn from.

When I was around 14, my dad was in a serious car accident where he ended up in the hospital for over a year. This was a huge trial in my life. My dad was a good guy who had a bad thing happen to him. It was because of someone else’s agency that he ended up in this situation.

It was hard for my family. My mom was gone with him at the hospital most of the time and me and my older sister had to take care of my younger brother while my older brother worked. It was a hard situation and there were a lot of moments where I questioned God and why He would make us go through these situations.

Questioning God

As humans, that’s our natural response when we go through something hard. We ask

• Why me?
• Why now?
• What did I do wrong?

BUT these questions we ask truly have so much power over us. When we ask questions like that, they overtake our vision and deprive us of energy and we lose out on the experiences the Lord wants us to have.

This is something I struggled with. For a long time, I didn’t understand why my dad and family had to have this happen. I didn’t understand why God would put us through so much pain.

We know that our success and our happiness depends on our responses to those moments of pain and heartache.

Quentin L. Cook shared

We learn that sometimes the things that are best for us and the things that bring eternal rewards seem at the moment to be the most bitter.

And it was bitter not knowing if my dad would come home or how my mom was truly doing. It was hard and I was empty. And the only thing I could count on was my relationship with my Heavenly Father.

During that time in my life, I read Isaiah 41:10.

Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.

Heavenly Father is always there for us

I know that as His children and as His disciples, He is always there for us. He knew exactly what I was feeling and knew what would help me in that exact moment, exactly the same as He knows each and everyone of you and any adversity you face.

Without that trial in my life and my family’s life, I would have missed an opportunity to increase my faith and receive love and support from my Heavenly Father. I learned of His mercy, and the power of Jesus Christ and His Atonement, and the influence of the Holy Ghost. I learned of the comfort our Savior can provide and I was pushed to grow my own personal testimony.

Refocusing on Jesus Christ during hard times

When we refocus on Christ during hard times, we show our discipleship.  When we believe in Jesus Christ, intentionally learn from Him, and strive to live more like Him during our adversity, we find it a lot easier to do hard things.

Instead of asking why me, what did I do questions, we can refocus on Christ by asking

• Who can I help?
• What can I learn?
• How can I remember my Savior and the blessings I’ve received?

One of the biggest examples to me of discipleship in adversity comes from Joseph Smith. Doctrine and Covenants 24:8 says

Be patient in thine afflictions for thou shalt have many but endure them, for lo I am with thee, even unto the end of thy days.

Later Joseph Smith shared,

Therefore, God hath made broad our shoulders for the burdens. We glory in tribulation because we know God is with us and He is our friend!

How cool is that!! Joseph Smith suffered so much adversity in his life, yet he had so much faith and trust in the Lord. He knew he wasn’t alone and that God prepared him for those trials. Joseph Smith turned his focus to the Lord. He didn’t sit in the hard things, rather he gloried in them with Christ and knew he was being strengthened and growing closer to his Savior because of it.

Stand Fast in Adversity

There are moments where we think we know when a trial should end or moments we wish it would, but please don’t create a deadline for the challenges you’re facing. If you do, you give up the opportunity to see why it happened and how you grew. God’s timing may feel inconvenient but it is always perfect.

The Prophet Joseph Smith said,

Stand fast, ye Saints of God, hold on a little while longer, and the storm of life will be past, and you will be rewarded by that God whose servants you are.

We are God’s servants; we are here to do His work and go about doing good. In spite of our weaknesses, we can serve; we can contribute when the Lord is by our side if we just keep going—with faith.

Discipleship and Adversity

It is through discipleship that we are able to receive the spiritual strength that we need to deal with adversity in our lives.

As a missionary I’ve gained a huge testimony of both discipleship and adversity. I’ve come to understand my Savior and the life He lived. Now I know it’s nowhere near what He had to deal with, but I’ve learned a lot.

Before my mission, discipleship to me meant going to church, going to seminary, reading the Book of Mormon, and praying. And it still is, but I’ve gained a testimony that discipleship is my willingness to be an example of my Savior even when times are tough.

Life isn’t easy. It wasn’t easy before my mission. It isn’t easy now. And from what I’ve heard, it doesn’t get easy later on. BUT because it isn’t easy, I get to learn and grow. I get to have personalized experiences that help me to rely on my Savior.

Through all the trials I’ve had I know they weren’t things I would’ve asked my Heavenly Father for, but now I know I would never give those trials away. I know they are there to shape us into better disciples of our Savior. I know I wouldn’t be on a mission if I didn’t have those moments where I was in the dark, lonely, scared, angry, confused. I wouldn’t be who I am. I know now that being a disciple is not a checklist of things we have to do, but rather it’s our Hearts. It’s who we are.

“If the Savior Stood Beside Me”

I know Jesus Christ is our Savior and He lives. When He was in the Garden of Gethsemane, He had a moment where He lived my life and each of yours. When He lived every single moment I have lived, I am living and will live. He knows what I need when I’m in those moments of adversity, I know because when I am going through them, He strengthens me, he is near me and he loves me. I know that it is hard to submit our will to Him but it’s essential to becoming like Him and finding the peace that He offers. I know that as you come to Him and serve Him, even when times are hard, He will take you as you are and magnify you to be all that He has for you to be.

I just want to end with some lyrics from the song “If the Savior Stood Beside Me”

He is always near me, though I do not see Him there,

And because He loves me dearly,

I am in His watchful care,

So I’ll be the kind of person that I know I’d like to be

if I could see the Savior standing nigh watching over me.

 

When life gets hard as a disciple of Christ, you can find peace knowing He is with you. He is cheering you on and wants you to grow and learn that you can do hard things!