A brief report on Tȟuŋkášila Šákpe

A brief report on Tȟuŋkášila Šákpe July 15, 2024

 

Al-Ahramaat
Among the most challenging geological puzzles on the planet are the three largest pyramids in the famous Giza complex near Cairo.  From the rear, they are the Great Pyramid of Khufu (aka Cheops); the Pyramid of Khaphre (or Chephren), which still retains some of its original limestone exterior near its apex; and the significantly smaller Pyramid of Menkaure (aka Mycerinus or Mykerinos) in the front. This is pretty much the view from the Pyramids Lounge. (Wikimedia Commons public domain image)

Since the first geological and then archaeological expeditions entered the region known as “Six Grandfathers” (in the original Lakota, Tȟuŋkášila Šákpe) in early March of 4742 CE, heated debates have raged about the three “macrocephalic” rock formations on the mountain’s southeastern face.  And not merely among academics.

In fact, controversy surrounds every aspect of the discovery, including the number of head-like stone features.  The most commonly-held position is that there are three, but some claim to see a partial fourth.  And others, especially among the thriving, even zealous, amateur organizations that have formed about the issue, insist that there were once six of them – basing their arguments almost entirely upon the otherwise puzzling name of the mountain, “Six Grandfathers.”

An entire cottage industry has emerged, seeking identities for at least the three “heads” that are most accepted among the believers.  Their search focuses on the history and lore of the area known as Southern Lakota and on surviving records from the surrounding nations.  Going from left to right, the “faces” on the mountainside are thought to represent Georg of Washington, a small principality, now submerged, that once dominated the low coastal swamplands of Yanquiland; Thomas of Monticello, who succeeded Georg as the ruler of Yanquiland; and Theodosius Roosevelt, a Yanqui warlord who, under the still mysterious throne name of “Nude Eel,” led a confederation of allied states to world domination in a global conflict against another powerful faction.  His shadowy opponents, known to historians only as the Great Depression, were directed from the island nation of Nippon (or Nissan) by an obscure quasi-deified (and perhaps quasi-mythical) figure called “Hirohitler.”

Going even further, a tiny fringe minority of amateurs contends that the faces on the mountain were carved by hovering alien spacecraft using some form of laser carving tool.  These hobbyists point to a genuinely serious flaw in the proposals made by those who argue that the “images” were produced by human artifice.  The faces are, after all, suspended high in the air, far above the plain below.  How would the primitive humans of the early MAGA era have created such images?

These, however, are minority views.  Those advocating specific identities for the three head-shaped rock formations in Southern Lakota assume them to be deliberately-created faces designed and made by humans or by humanoid aliens. But the majority of experts publishing on the subject believe that they can be explained as the remarkable but entirely natural products of such well-understood erosive forces as wind, sun, snow, ice, and sand, assisted in some few cases by earthquake activity.  They point out that in an almost infinitely large universe, and given virtually infinite lengths of time, virtually anything can and will eventually happen.  And, in the case of Tȟuŋkášila Šákpe, it plainly did.

Critics of what is often dismissed as the “anthropomorphic” or “intelligent design” school point out that no other human sculptures are known to archaeologists that are even close to the size of the heads on “Six Grandfathers.”  (Even the superhuman head of Abra Hamlincoln, retrieved from the ruins of the small temple in Washington that was built around it, is several orders of magnitude smaller than the proposed “heads” on Six Grandfathers Mountain.) Moreover, the ancient residents of Southern Lakota show no signs of having possessed the advanced technology that would have been required to create such artifacts.  And, although the extraterrestrial-visitors theory is rarely even addressed by serious scholars, the few aliens who have visited our planet in recent centuries have not been humanoid in appearance, which seems to indicate that they would have had no interest in creating anthropomorphic facial images.  The few acknowledged artifacts left behind by intergalactic visitors in the historical record (e.g., several portraits of females by the alien painter Pikasso) plainly favor representing their own species, which are distinctly non-human.

In sum, the overwhelming current consensus among scholars and specialists is that the three head-like forms in the rugged hill country of Southern Lakota are by-products of the same powerful but random natural geological forces that produced the Grand Canyon, the great pyramidal stone formations along the Nile, and, most famously of all, the so-called “Hollywood sign” above the ruined City of the Angels in Alta California.

Uxmal's main pyramid
The main pyramid at Uxmal is another major challenge to current geological theory.
(Wikimedia Commons public domain image)

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