Love Letter 4

You are one of the greatest lovers I know. I’ve got to get better at writing these letters so the whole world can know what is beautiful in the life of a person like you. At the moments of my deepest angst you found a way to touch my soul, to open my eyes so that I could see what is real, and what is not. You who hate pain, watched mine in wonder as you sought to lead me to a place I could be free. That was the beginning for me. The beginning of living in reality instead of fantasy. Decades later I still feel that I’ve only begun. “Ack,” you would say. “This is things as they are.” How did you see? So much has happened to you, unimaginable terror, unimaginable horror, and yet you let that pass out of your life and looked for ways to be true – and without any “religious” structure to help you along. Oh I know it cannot be completely banished and that breaks my heart. I’m seeing it rear its ugly head now in the closing days and months. I’d give anything to help you feel safe, to help you feel free, indeed to free you. My God, when I think of the gifts that you give with your logic and your smile, with your wisdom and your stories, with your clarity. Such things come from a place hard to get to, but you’ve been there. You’ve been down in that place where only a broken heart can go and you’ve seen the hope. And you know that all the cynical sighs can’t deny that hope. It is the valiant struggle of faith that I love in you. It is the gorgeous integrity, the unswerving dedication to what is beautiful. You had magic hands, but more than that a magic mind – touched by the language of she who whispers in the ears of those who will listen. I’ve loved you for so long and I fear now that I’m going to lose you. Of course I know that cannot be, for your life stands as a gorgeous witness to what can be because love that permeates all that is, lives in you, lives as you, lives through you. I love you. Be ever at peace dear friend.