Love Letter 13

I love you, or at least I try to love you. Sometimes it’s hard but let me not dwell on that this evening. (I saw a production of Romeo and Juliet a night or two ago.) You’re gorgeous, you really are. Your whole life you’d wanted nothing more than to live a life that matters. People say it’s because you have a big ego that needs to be fed, but I don’t think that’s it – at least not all of it. No, it is true and beautiful and I can tell it is because it is so painful for you, (which means of course that it is also wrapped up in the separate self ego – I said it wasn’t all of it, right?) If it weren’t painful then it wouldn’t be creative and beautiful at its core. Why should that be so? Because it seems the line between life and death, between existence and none, is pain. And at the moment of deepest pain beauty is called forth and with her the response of love. It’s the way things are and I love you because I can see the creative flow of the cosmos rising up within you every time it hurts. Like I said, gorgeous. I think your name should have been Grace for God’s grace is what makes you so incredibly loveable.

I love you,

Sam