Charged by the Goddess
I remember the first time I knew myself to be a Witch. I was sitting with a group of women, a ‘study group,’ as the flyer in the New Age shop described.
And one woman led us on a guided meditation. To meet Her.
I didn’t know who ‘Her’ was and I didn’t know if there even was a Her that would show up. All I knew was that I was sitting in that basement for a reason. I’d said aloud to myself that I wanted to learn more.
And then I saw the flyer.
And then I was sitting in the basement.
The Path of a Witch
In that guided meditation, I met a dark-haired goddess. Being from the Midwest and not someone knew there was a life beyond the binary, I called her a woman because of the way she looked to me.
She held me in her arms. She held me close and showed me the world.
Her world looked like a place that was meant for priestesses. And while I would NEVER thought I was going to take that path, she still beckoned to me. That meditation was 20 years ago. And I can still see her in my mind. The colors of her cloak shift. Her hair color shifts.
But She is somewhere in my heart.
And I felt her in the stories of Avalon. I pored over stories and watched all the movies and read all the books. I don’t know if She was of the isle, but She started to push me there.
Signs. Stories. Rituals. Connections.
Steps along the way. Steps that led me there. Steps that lead me back.
Approaching the Tor
There are several important moments to me in my witch life that have lost their timelines. I know what happened and I know who was there, but I can not seem to work out the order of the events.
The same is true for the first time I went to Glastonbury, the first time I went to the Tor, and the first time I went to Chalice Well. These all happened in the span of a day, but I can’t tell you which came first.
I think the Tor was first.
I didn’t realize it would be so high up the hill. It’s funny saying that now, because OF COURSE that’s where it would be. Of course.
I remember it was sunny and hot. The wind was howling and my hair blew across my face again and again. Each step felt as though it was taking me closer, but also reminding me that I had a long way to go.
Some sort of challenge before reaching the place of dreams and books.
Witch Dream Achieved
I wanted everyone to go away when I made it to the top. I wanted all of the voices and the movement to leave me alone.
I wanted the moment to take it all in, so I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. And I heard it, the silence. I stepped into the middle of the stones and looked up. I wondered what this place looked like under stars and moonlight.
I felt the ground rise up and show me the rituals that came before. The black cloaks. The voices wrapping around the night sky.
And I sang to the sky, to the Tor, to the people around.
I want to know the whisper that calls you home….
It was a song I was working on for the Witchcamp I would teach at a few days later. And in the moment, it felt important to sing it to the godds to get their approval.
I sang. I sang in the footsteps of priestesses and magick makers. I sang with other witches, other priestesses songs of power and the lands. And I cried.
To be in the place that I thought I’d never step.
Called home by the whisper of the Cailleach in the store we were working in that Witchcamp.
Called to the place of power that I followed in so many trances.
What else can you do but allow yourself to be overwhelmed and awed?
What else can you do?
Thankfully, I get to return. It seems the godds have more for me.
(And I know I teased with the picture. I’ll talk about Chalice Well too. Look out for Part Two soon.)
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