Gossip is a common sin that even Christians may fail to recognize or repent of in their own lives. It is so quick to come and to spread that before we realize it, we have been a part of a rumor that has affected the lives of other people.
It is easier to recognize what’s wrong with gossip when we’re the ones who have been hurt by it or when our loved ones have become the victims of rumors. But how can we avoid being instruments of this type of idle and corrupt talk when it comes to the lives of other people?
Here are some ways that can help us avoid gossip and thereby live up to our faith:
1. Reflect on the true nature of gossip
Many of us may have been caught unaware at the start before developing this bad habit. Initially, gossip may have arrived upon our laps us a type of news or information that we wanted to share with those close to us.
Perhaps this is the easiest and most common disguise of gossip. It disguises itself as “news” or harmless information we pass on to others.
But where do we draw the line between news and gossip? And just how much information can we pass around about others without being involved in gossip?
We can avoid gossip if we make it a habit to check any news that we receive:
– Is it true? How can I verify whether this is just false information?
– Even if it is true, will this be intruding on the private lives of other people and consequently cause others to lose their good reputation? Would I be happy if I were the one being talked about?
– Is there an urgency in passing on this information? Will it save the life of another human being?
– Instead of passing on the information, can I simply talk to those who are concerned so I can help them?
– Should I be the one to offer my help? Or is this none of my business anyway?
– Will it be better to simply pray for the people concerned?
“A perverse person spreads strife,
and a whisperer separates close friends.”
-Proverbs 16:28 (NRSVCE)
2. Mind your words
Make it a habit to filter the words coming out of your mouth. Remember that you are not a mere echo that must repeat mindlessly the stories passed on to you. Also, keep in mind that you will one day account before God all the useless and hurtful words you said. What do the words you speak say about you?
“I tell you, on the day of judgment you will have to give an account for every careless word you utter; for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” – Matthew 12:36-37 (NABRE)
3. Change the topic
There are times when you may find it hard to escape these types of talks without appearing to be rude. You may simply be in a gathering of friends or neighbors and then this type of talk begins. What do you do then?
If it is possible, you can try to change the topic to a more ideal or wholesome one. Let talks that damage or judge the reputation of other people die down and give way to more fruitful and edifying conversations.
4. Avoid the trap of curiosity
This is a very common temptation that ensnares us when it comes to gossip. It may first begin as a curiosity. In some ways, we can even call it a deep concern for other people.
But being curious is different from being concerned. True concern would act differently. If you are a true friend for instance, it would be better to have a heart-to-heart talk with your friends rather than to talk behind their backs and spread gossip that can harm them in the end.
“Question a friend; perhaps he did not do it;
or if he did, so that he may not do it again.
Question a neighbor; perhaps he did not say it;
or if he said it, so that he may not repeat it.
Question a friend, for often it is slander;
so do not believe everything you hear.
A person may make a slip without intending it.
Who has not sinned with his tongue?
Question your neighbor before you threaten him;
and let the law of the Most High take its course.”
– Sirach 19 (NRSVCE)
5. Avoid those who often gossip about others
They say that birds of the same feather flock together. So also, you must try to find friends who value the reputation of other people and who will not easily engage in gossip.
It is not that you should judge your neighbor and think of yourself as better. This is simply recognizing your vulnerability to sin and trying to avoid occasions of sin. You must not risk your soul by placing yourself near temptation.
6. Pray for God’s help
Never forget the power of prayer. Ask the Lord’s help to avoid idle and useless talks. Let Him purify your heart and lips.
“No foul language should come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for needed edification, that it may impart grace to those who hear.” – Ephesians 4:29 (NABRE)
Guarding Your Tongue
When you guard your tongue, you also guard your heart and soul. You avoid the sin of judging other people, and the sin of spreading false reports against them.
“Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord;
keep watch over the door of my lips.”
– Psalm 141:3 (NRSVCE)
Gossip may seem harmless, but it destroys relationships and damages the reputation of other people. It causes more harm than we could possibly think of.
Guard your tongue, and use your mouth to speak inspiring and comforting words. And let your speech be a channel of God’s blessings for other people.
You may also want to read “When You Keep On Failing To Be a Good Person”.
Jocelyn Soriano is the author of Mend My Broken Heart, Questions to God and 366 Days of Compassion. She also writes about relationships and the Catholic faith at Single Catholic Writer.
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