This is Part 3 of a three-part series on what to do when life or relationships aren’t what you wanted them to be. In part 1 and part 2 we outlined three important steps that can help us move from frustration and anguish to acceptance and appreciation. This week, we’ll apply those steps specifically to relationships.
We’ve spent the last two weeks exploring three critical (but oh so hard) steps that can help change our focus from ongoing frustration, discontent, or disappointment when life isn’t going the way we hoped or planned. In a nutshell, they are:
- Grief
- Acceptance
- Appreciation
Before you go further, read Part 1 and Part 2 so you understand how these three steps work when life or relationship disappointments loom large (and, just as important, when they don’t apply, such as in an abusive relationship).
Today, we’ll tread carefully into the how these can be applied in our everyday relationships.
Remember the woman in Part 1, who I overheard at Target? It was clear that there was real angst that the man in her life wouldn’t (or couldn’t) rein in his “Tigger-like” personality around her reserved, disapproving father.
So what do we do when someone close to us has a trait – which can be anything from an always-on Tigger personality to an unwillingness to stop a habit that’s harmful to their health – that hasn’t changed, despite our best efforts? What happens if that trait starts to loom large in our minds? As pretty much every breathing human has discovered, this can create a real issue for the relationship if it becomes an ongoing source of discontent.
Of course, as I’ve emphasized in the earlier parts of this series, some problems and solutions will go beyond the scope of what we can discuss in three blogs. Relationships can enter a challenging zone, with real and legitimate pain caused – likely on both sides. If this describes you, I’m really sorry. I know it’s hard.
In a generally applicable sense, and with a heart only to help you find a possible and productive way forward, this week’s blog looks at four shifts that might help when our relationships aren’t what we want them to be.
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