This is the second part of a three-part series on what to do when life or relationships aren’t what you wanted them to be. In last week’s part 1 we started with a challenging but important first step. Today, we explore two more.
I’ve always wished I could draw, paint and do graphic design. I write books and I used to perform in musical theatre so I am not completely bereft of right-brain endeavors! But the drawing and design gene absolutely is not in my DNA. My best efforts are a step below stick figures.
This may sound minor – but it is actually really frustrating for someone whose ministry involves constant work on creative materials.
What about you? Do you find yourself “always wishing” that you were better at something? Or maybe the stakes are higher than a hobby: Maybe health limitations, relationship disappointments or any number of heartaches keep taking life in a direction that isn’t what you hoped.
There’s a grief in that, isn’t there? As we covered last week (please go back to read Part 1 if you missed it), we have to grieve what isn’t and accept what is before we can move forward to enjoy what we have. So, when life isn’t what we wanted, that’s our first action step. Grieving what will never be.
Sometimes this principle doesn’t neatly (or even remotely) apply. For example, if there’s emotional or physical abuse, infidelity, toxicity, or other serious and damaging issues, different rules are in effect: we need boundaries, safety, intervention, and counseling instead.
But for many heartaches and letdowns, there can be abundant life on the other side – and we can be intentional about pursuing it. Last week we covered grief, which, of course, is not a snap-your-fingers-and-everything-is-better process. But grieving can actually be freeing. That’s our aim with the next two steps.
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