6 Steps to Change Your Marriage for the Better (Part 2)

 The foundational truth

When you choose to believe the best of your spouse’s motivations toward you, it’s not just wishful thinking. Fully 99.26% of spouses truly care about their mate and want the best for them, even during painful times.

And even in the most struggling marriages, that rate was 97%!!

This means that almost universally, statistically speaking, your spouse deeply cares about you.

If you’re in a struggling marriage, read that again. (And if you haven’t already, go back and read last week’s Part 1 blog for ideas on how to start nudging your marriage in the right direction.)

Since statistically, your spouse almost certainly does care about you, the secret sauce comes in deciding to believe that!*

We dive into this truth in detail on episode 2 of the Married with Benefits podcast. My husband Jeff joined us in the studio, and the conversation is a game-changer for couples who want to master the art of believing the best even when it gets . . . tricky.

Now, as always, in cases of abuse, or in the rare cases where you mate has checked out (see footnote below), steps that will be productive and necessary for you will be different than those outlined in this blog. But otherwise, here are three steps that the marriage Olympians take ­– and that we can copy. Steps to help our actions align with the statistical truth that our spouse cares about us – even when things are hard.