Complete Simplicity of Character

Simplicity is no doubt the single greatest casualty of modernity. This may be good. After all, we now have choices like never before: what career to pursue, where to live, who to associate with, what to read, what to dream of, and so on. Yet we must also ask how much this ‘thins’ out our lives, keeps us eternally skirting the surface of reality.

Sometimes all of these choices present themselves not so much as opportunities but as burdens. We must choose a career, a place to call home, friends, dreams, and so on.

I find myself going in circles, trying to balance life, love, friends, family, a place to call home, studies, work, my practice… Learning where my priorities must lie is an ongoing process. I am sure this is true of all of us. Now that the busyness of work and resettling for the fourth time in less than a year have worn off, I find myself pondering my latest round of imbalance and growth.

Certainly my practice and deepening understanding of the world through Buddhist eyes have fallen out of their place at the center of my life. I let them fall away; I think with the best of intentions. I saw suffering and thought somehow I could help. In idealistic naiveté I plunged into darkness without a lamp. I could say I was pulled in, but I went of my own free will. And I could equally say I was pulled out, but I left by that same free will.

And what got me out? Am I truly out? I think so (mostly), and I credit the safety line I had with family, friends, and a spiritual mentor. ‘Twas a thin line, stretched over many a mile, but strengthened by their firm grips and my honesty and trust in them. While I’m a great fan of individual initiative and rugged self-reliance, I see more and more the importance of strengthening our webs of interconnectedness, our community and family bonds.

Now I sit, listening to the wonderful soundtrack to “Once” after a night of simple birthday celebration, simple manual labor (unloading clay pigeons for the local gun club), and simple s’mores with family. And I ponder my relationship with what I want in life. Maybe it’s just too much. Maybe, on the great menu of possibilities presented to us in the 21st century, I just want too much.

Because it is with the simple stuff that I am happiest.

The Grandkids last night with Gran-ma and Pappy. S’mores on the barbecue.