Unitarian Universalists, as a whole, pride ourselves on being open-minded, progressive, diverse in theologies/philosophies, and generally willing to hear and consider different perspectives. Pagans share many of these beliefs about ourselves.
I must say, it is not my experience that UU’s nor Pagans embody these traits to anywhere near the degree we claim. I, for one, have had much of the opposite experience of these purported traits. I have encountered some of the same prejudices among UU’s—and often to a greater degree than in the “outside world—that have plagued me elsewhere. My spiritual home has often proven not so homey.
Fat prejudice. Dismissing my theology because I’m Pagan. Dismissing my theology because I am Christian-friendly. Lack of disability access. Dismissing my abilities as a minister because of all the aforementioned reasons.
So whar is to be done for people like me? And understand, I think most of us are “like me” in these regards.
I think the answer is two-fold. I think the answer is found in the queer communities and their allies.
The first piece is what allies embody. It is one side of love. It is the side that offers friendly inquiry, love, acceptance, and public demonstrations of these qualities. All of us can stand to take in and express more of these qualities, of course, but even more so if we are leaders. If you are on a board or committee, if you teach a class, if you staff a table or belong to an interest group, you are a leader for sure. And even if not, every one of us is a religious educator through our actions and our words. We teach each other what we believe, what we value, and what we oppose. When we speak from the pulpit, so much more so, whether we are ordained clergy or members of our congregations.
The other half of the answer is in the experiences of queer people ourselves.
National Coming Out Day was founded out of the realization that being out, being honest, being clear about who we are and whom we love has incredible power. To hear that your family member, best friend, co-worker, fellow congregant is trans*, is lesbian, is in a polyamorous relationship, is part of the S/M community…these are big deals. And it takes a lot to share such things. It takes a lot. And it takes a lot to accept and offer the open embrace of love to those whose lives we do not entirely understand.
We Unitairan Universalists have done a pretty good job where lesbian, gay, and bisexual people are concerned. We haven’t done so well for other sexual minorities, for people of color, or for people with disabilities. And often, we don’t do so well for those who don’t feel safe expressing their theologies openly. Trinitarian Christians and polytheist Pagans come immediately to mind.
At the 2015 General Assembly, Rev. Marlon Lavanhar preached about a congreant who was raised Pentecostal, and who still sometimes prayed in tongues. How would you respond if another congregant told you that? What would you think of them? How would you offer them the outstretched embrace of love?
And if you are Pagan and dedicated to several deities—however you define that word, “deities”—you, too, have the opportunity to bring your theology to the table. To be braver than just attending CUUPS rituals, to be brave in congregations where your understanding of the Divine may be difficult for others to grasp.
We are in this together. We affirm the responsible search for truth and meaning, do we not? We affirm our care for the interdependent web of existence of which we are all a part, do we not? We affirm the inherent worth and dignity of each peson, do we not?
Then let us live into it.
And so I’d like to hear from atheists. Not just religious humanists or naturalists, but atheists. I’d like to hear from people who do not understand my ways of being. My website has lots of information about who I am and what I believe. It is not the whole story, of course, because I, like many UU’s, especially UU ministers, am closeted about much of who I am. So I’ll tell you something about a way I came out today.
I got my hair dyed purple, blue, and turquoise. It is loosely in a style called “mermaid,” and I love it. I have no idea how congregations will receive me in the pulpit. What I do know is that how I receive myself is more important than the idea of what a minister is “supposed” to be.
Among my many identities—fat, femme, flamboyant, pansexual, Pagan. disabled—I find that almost all of them somehow elicit dismissiveness of my ministerial identity in some contexts. Too extroverted. Too fat. Too out there. Too sexual. Too Pagan. All of these “Toos” are mine, but they may be yours, as well.
And I tell you these things about myself so you may tell others about yourself. Be brave, my friends. And be loving, my friends.
Ler us love one another. Let us share with one another. Let us be real, and be real in our love and acceptance of the responsible search for truth and meaning.
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